One Island Five Boys
by Red Dot Society
Summary: Percy Jackson, Morgead Blackthorn, Peeta Mellark, Jesse de Silva, Jace Wayland. What happens when they wake up on an island together? Story includes shirtless Percy, aprons, washboard abs and a crab called Shelly. Rated T for utter nonsense.
1. Aprons and Washboard Abs

**Five boys (or men, whatever you wanna call 'em) wake up to find themselves stuck on a mysterious island. The boys are Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games), Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), Jesse de Silva (The Mediator), Jace Wayland (The Mortal Instruments) and Morgead Blackthorn (NightWorld).**

**This story's sole purpose is to be funny. We can't promise it'll have a plot, nor can we promise it'll make sense, and we certainly can't promise the characters won't be OOC. **

**The Red Dot Society is not liable for any brain cells that may die after reading this story.**

**Enjoy!**

**(Oh, and obviously, the characters aren't ours.)**

**(And there may be spoilers if you haven't read some of the series, or some of the books in some of the series.)**

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**1. Aprons and Washboard Abs**

Peeta Mellark started coughing as soon as he woke up. He found he was lying face down in sand. Sand? Why was he in sand? To his left, he heard someone groan. He turned his head to see a shirtless figure, half buried with sand and seaweed.

"Ugh," The figure groaned again, and it moved, trying to sit up. "So much for being Seaweed brain," he mumbled, throwing away a piece of seaweed that was on his head. Then he looked up suddenly, as if realizing for the first time the environment around him. "Wait..." He looked at Peeta. "Who are you?"

* * *

Jace Wayland opened his eyes and was met with bright sunlight. He groaned and lifted up his hand to block his eyes. Where was he? He sat up slowly and saw that everything around him was white.

"What happened to me?" He wondered out loud.

"You don't know?" A voice spoke beside him, Jace turned to see Morgead Blackthorn. Morgead was drawing tic tac toe squares in the sand, his tangled hair falling over his face. "You snore like a chainsaw," Morgead snorted at Jace.

Jace scowled, "I don't snore. And even if I did sound like a chainsaw, I'd be a sexy chainsaw."

Meanwhile, on the other end of the beach...

Peeta looked at the black-haired boy next to him.

"I'm Peeta. Who are you? And why are you shirtless?"

"I'm shirtless?" The boy gasped, looking down at himself in surprise.

"Yes, you are." Peeta said as he watched the boy scramble for the seaweed he'd just thrown to cover himself up again, but only semi succeeding. A few seconds later, he'd given up on trying to cover himself.

"I'm Percy," he said, still embarrassed, "Percy Jackson."

"Nice to meet you, Percy." Peeta said, looking around. "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Percy shook his head, "I have no idea. One minute I was swimming in the lake and suddenly I woke up here."

"Well, why don't we take a look around? See if we can find something that will help us." Peeta suggested.

Percy nodded, "Sure, but first do you have any spare shirts with you by any chance?"

"Actually," Peeta announced, "I do!"

To Percy's utter disbelief, the blonde boy reached under his - what was that, an apron? - and pulled out a black t-shirt. "So...what, you just carry that around with you?" Percy asked.

"Hey, you want the shirt or not?"

"I do, I do!" Percy grabbed the shirt and hastily put it on, relieved when the fabric covered his bare flesh. That flesh was meant for Annabeth's eyes only. Percy looked up to see Peeta squinting in the distance. "What is it?"

"I see...two people...Playing...tic tac toe?"

* * *

"I win," said Jace smugly, putting a line through the three crosses. Morgead groaned, hitting his fist on the sand in frustration.

"What's that stick that you're using?" He pointed at the instrument Jace was using to draw on the sand.

"Oh, this?" Jace lifted the instrument up, "It's a stele," he said casually, drawing another set of tic tac toe squares in the sand.

"Are you sure that's not a tic-tac-toe cheating machine or something?" Morgead asked suspiciously. Just as Jace was about to answer, he was interrupted by someone else...

"Nombre de Dios," the voice said. The two of them looked up and saw a tall man standing over them. "What are you two doing?" He asked, looking at the tic tac toe squares.

"If you must know, we're playing a game called tic tac toe." Jace answered, "and it was so kind of you to ask us our names, Mister..."

"De Silva. Jesse de Silva."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Jace said, feigning innocence. "Jesse McCartney?"

"De Silva."

"De Quincey?"

Jesse rolled his eyes. As he did so, he caught sight of two people coming his way. Two tall boys; one wearing a black t-shirt and shorts with ruffled black hair much like that of the boy who was previously losing the game of 'tic tac toe'. The other boy had wavy blonde hair, and he was wearing...an apron?

"Dios, since when did men start wearing aprons?" Jesse wondered aloud.

Jace snickered, then caught himself. "Hey, you still haven't asked us our names. I'm Jace." He then gestured toward Morgead, "And this is...uh..."

Morgead flicked a grain of sand accurately up Jace's nose and told Jesse his name.

When Percy and Peeta reached the three other boys, their eyes were drawn to Jesse's stomach. They both oohed and said in unison, "Washboard abs..."

* * *

Jesse looked confused, "Excuse me? Washboard?" He looked around. "There is no washboard on this isolated island."

Morgead, who was holding his laughter in for so long, finally burst out hysterically.

Jace, on the other hand, was cleaning sand off his face. "They mean you have strong abdominal muscles," he said in a bored tone, ruffling his hair to shake the sand out, obviously pissed at being flicked with sand on the nose. "Like washboards." He threw a sideway glance at those two.

Peeta and Percy were staring at Jesse like they'd just seen a ghost. (Haha...get it?) Percy was pulling at his shirt self-consciously.

"Nom de Dios," Jesse muttered to himself, "I'm trapped on an island with a bunch of loco..."

Peeta was the first to come out of his ab-induced daze. He glanced down to see that Percy's hand was under his shirt. Peeta slapped Percy's arm lightly, "What the hell are you doing?"

The other boy looked sheepish, "I want washboard abs..."

"I'd give you mine if it were physically possible," said Jace, covertly gathering sand behind his back to throw into Morgead's face. "It's becoming a nuisance anyway, the way girls are always drooling over them."

After exactly thirty seconds of awkward silence, broken by Morgead's angry growl when Jace shoved sand in his face, Jesse asked for introductions and so introductions were made. Explanations of where they came from followed.

"As much as I have enjoyed this conversation and the sand fights," Jace smiled at Morgead's sandy face, "I would like to know why we're all here."

The five boys all looked at each other, hoping that one of them would know what was going on.

"Well," Peeta finally spoke up, "I was in my bakery in District 12 when―"

"Dude, you have a bakery?" Percy interrupted, "That's why you smell like bread!"

"And wearing a very manly apron." Jace added.

"Will you just let him finish his story?" Jesse said, looking at Percy and Jace.

"Fine," they both mumbled.

Peeta sent Jesse a thank-you look, "As I was saying..."

"Wait, one more thing," Jace interrupted. "Could you just...take off the apron? It's very distracting."

The four other boys groaned, and Peeta took off the apron to shut Jace up. Jace smiled, happy. "Okay. You may continue."

Peeta shook his head. "I was in my bakery, baking cheese buns-"

"Ooh," said his audience. Peeta ignored them.

"I think I fell asleep while waiting for them to be ready, and I woke up here... Wherever 'here' is." Peeta looked around, noted that the island was massive in size. The beach stretched on forever. Behind him, he saw dense vegetation. Trees that looked a lot like the ones from the Quarter Quell arena. A shiver went down his spine and he-

"What are you doing?" It was Morgead's skeptical voice, aimed at Percy who was sniffing Peeta's apron.

Percy didn't seem to hear him. Instead, he buried his nose deeper into Peeta's apron. "Mmm, I like bread..."

The other boys shook their heads, "What?" Percy asked, "As if you wouldn't do the same."

"Well, we aren't-" Morgead was cut off by Percy shoving Peeta's apron in his face.

Morgead was immediately attracted to the smell of freshly baked cheese buns. He took a long sniff and let out a longing sigh. "This smells sooooo good."

Jace snatched the apron from Morgead's hands, "Oh come on, it's my turn to tell the story now. Here, Jesse," he handed the apron to Jesse, "Keep it away from them."

Jesse nodded and put it in his pocket. "Now that I have your attention," Jace began dramatically, "I would like to tell you my story―"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." It was Peeta's turn to interrupt Jace. He turned to Jesse. "Did you just put my apron in your pocket? How is that even possible unless you have giant pockets?"

Jesse shrugged, "I have...cowboy pockets..."

Jace tried to hold in his laughter, but he couldn't. The way Jesse said 'cowboy pockets' in that Spanish accent of his was just too funny.

"Listen...to...my...story...you idiots." He gasped in between laughter.

* * *

"Well, I was hanging out in the Institute, bored out of my mind, when suddenly, I heard this very familiar song coming out of one of the rooms."

"Which song?" Percy interrupted again.

"Could you not cut us off for once, Percy?" Morgead sighed.

Percy shook his head, "You guys are so boring. We need details, people. Details!"

Jace gritted his teeth, "If you must know, it was 'Mi Morena' by Josh Groban."

"Who?" Jesse asked. All four of them stared at him in disbelief.

"You..." Morgead began slowly, "You don't know Josh Groban?"

Jesse shook his head, "I'm more concerned with what the Institute is. Some kind of mental hospital?"

Peeta's eyes were wide. Instead of admitting he was wondering the same thing, he said, "Josh Groban is the most amazing, inspiring, amazingly inspiring singer there ever was and ever will be! He sings in English, Italian, French and Spanish! You should like Spanish!"

"Where is an iPod when you need one!" Percy yelled, frustrated that this Spanish man knew nothing of the greatest artist alive.

"And so, my love, from my window I can see..." Morgead started singing. Jace followed suit soon after. Then Percy and Peeta. By the time the song was finished, Jesse had manly Spanish tears in his eyes.

"That was…beautiful..."

* * *

They sang 'Mi Morena' a few more times until the sun was setting.

"Mi querida, I'll wait for you," Jesse sang happily while the others swayed along.

"I can't believe it!" Percy exclaimed. "We've known each other for like, what, four, five hours? But it feels as if we've known each other for a lifetime."

The others looked at him curiously. "What is he going on about?" Jace asked Peeta.

"I think 'Mi Morena' made him very sentimental," Peeta answered.

"It is a beautiful song," Jesse said, his eyes closed. "I'd like to sing it to Susannah."

"Who?" Morgead asked.

"Susannah, my girlfriend. I was trying to study - to become a doctor, you know - but I was daydreaming of her when I suddenly found myself on this island."

"Susannah," Jace rolled the name around on his tongue. "She hot?"

Jesse glared at him, "Don't be vulgar."

"Vulgar?" Jace repeated, "Who uses the word vulgar these days?"

"Susannah?" Morgead said, "as in, 'Oh, Susannah, don't you cry for me'?"

"Oh, I know that song!" Percy exclaimed happily, " Oh Susannah, don't you cry for me, 'cause I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee..." He started singing to the tune while Jesse rolled his eyes.

"Can I have my apron back now?" Peeta asked nervously, fidgeting with the edge of his shirt, "I feel...incomplete without it."

Percy opened his mouth to start to argue, just as a frilly pink apron fell from the sky and landed on his head.

* * *

"By the Angel!" Jace exclaimed, getting to his feet. He turned his face to the setting sun. "How 'bout some food, Big Guy?"

"Who," Jesse began, "are you talking to?"

Jace turned around, "The Big Guy upstairs. Peeta asked for his apron and he got it. I want food."

"Whoa," said Peeta, "that pink apron is not mine. I want the one in Jesse's cowboy pockets."

Jesse took Peeta's white, MANLY apron from his pocket and threw it in Peeta's direction. Before the baker could catch it, though, Percy had jumped in front of him and grabbed the apron. Laughing like a mad man, he ran to the edge of the jungle, apron in hand.

A few minutes later he came back, looking deflated.

"It doesn't smell like cheese buns anymore."

Morgead raised an eyebrow. He turned to the setting sun, "I want my soulmate here." He said, waiting expectantly. Jace was fingering the laces of the pink apron, which had "I LOVE MOMMY" in big, sparkly letters printed in front.

"What does it smell like then?" Jesse asked Percy.

"It smells like...sunshine and sweat," Percy said, disappointed.

"Sunshine and sweat?" Peeta echoed, "What's in your cowboy pocket? And who's your soulmate?" He turned to Morgead.

"I don't know," said Jesse, answering Peeta's first question. "I never thought to investigate my cowboy pockets."

Peeta thought about this, then nodded. He turned his head expectantly to Morgead. "Who's your soulmate?"

"Her name's Jez. I was riding my motor bike to her house. Then I was here." A thought occurred to Morgead then, and a look of horror bloomed across his face. "Did I crash? Am I dead?" His voice rose. "Is this hell?"

Jace, leaning back on both elbows, flicked some more sand in the other boy's direction, "Shut your trap. We're waiting on the Big Guy to give us food and your soulmate."

Percy made a noise.

Four heads turned to look at him, "What?"

"You guys think there's just one 'Big Guy'? Let me show you how it's done," Percy strode over to the ocean and bent down. He murmured something that sounded suspiciously like, "Hey, Dad. Can you send up some fish or oysters or somethin'?"

Jesse cocked his head, "Is he...talking to the sea?"

"Dad?" said Percy. His voice getting a little louder. "Oh, da-a-ad..."

Morgead flung himself into the sand, hands covering his face. "This is definitely hell."

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**This chapter was written by: StarLover Cat, filmyfurry and wolfienur.**

**We hope you enjoyed that. xD Next chapter will be here soon. Sooner, if we get reviews. Reviews are like cookies. Makes us hyper. :)**

**All the books that the characters are from are amazing. Read them, if you haven't already!**


	2. Guys, Meet Shelly

**Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to us. Not even Shelly. Shelly is living it up somewhere on the beach in Hainan Island. **

**We miss Shelly. :(**

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**2. Guys, Meet Shelly**

"You're right on that one, brother," Jace said, smacking his forehead as Percy began yelling frantically at the sea, "Daaaaaaad?"

"But Hell is cold," he said, laying down on his back in the sand.

"Can't your magical stick bring us any food?" Morgead said, eyeing the stele.

"It's not a stick. And it's not magical," Jace said furiously, sitting up, just in time to see Percy kneeling on the sand, yelling something like, "Pleaaaaassse? This is Percy!"

"It's a stele," Jace continued.

"Whatever, can't it bring us anything?" Morgead pointed at the stele skeptically.

"A food rune?" Jace said. "Like, it magically bring food to us? No," he leaned back. "Patience. Wait for the Big Guy."

Meanwhile, Jesse and Peeta watched as Percy walked into the sea deeper and deeper.

"You think he's gonna come back?" Peeta asked, putting his manly apron on again.

"I think he should go to the Institute," Jesse answered seriously.

"Hey! I heard that," Jace growled, "The Institute is not for people like him." He gestured at Percy who had disappeared into the sea. "It's only for cool and sexy people like me."

"Shouldn't we go help him?" Peeta suggested, completely ignoring Jace.

"Well, he called the ocean his 'dad'. I don't think anyone can recover from that " Morgead said, sitting down.

The boys shrugged and promptly forgot the issue. A new issue had arisen.

Jesse turned to Peeta, "Can you bake us bread or something?"

"I could if I had―"

Suddenly, Percy shot out of the water. He landed with a thud in front of the four boys (well, three boys and a man). "Aha!" he said excitedly, "Look what I found," he held out his hand  
and in his hand lay…a crab.

"Guys, meet Shelly. Shelly, meet Peeta, Jace, Morgead and Jesse!" Percy introduced breathlessly.

"Umm..." Peeta said hesitantly, "Hi, Shelly."

Jace stared at him as if he had taken off all his cloths and started singing in Chinese.

"Shelly said she's lost," Percy translated. "She said she's from Antarctica."

"Okay," Morgead said unhappily, "I asked for Jez, and the Big Guy gave us an Antarctic crab called Shelly..."

Jesse just shook his head and walked away mumbling in Spanish and something about the Institute as Percy started talking to the crab.

"What..? Really? I love purple seaweeds as well! Oh, yes! Do you have any idea what's wrong with my dad? He won't answer me. My dad abandoned me! What, you love the smell of bread too? Oh―"

"You cannot be serious." Jace said while still staring at Percy. "You asked the ocean, who you say is your 'father', for help and in return he gave you Shelly?"

"No, no, no," Percy said, annoyed. "My father didn't give me Shelly. Shelly is lost. Didn't you listened to what I just said?"

"Well, I kinda stopped listening to you when you did this," Jace waved his hands around this head frantically, yelling "Daaaaaaad?"

"Hey, I did not do the hand thing," Percy defended himself. "And for your information my dad really lives in the sea so if you don't mind," he held Shelly up, "I need to find out what's going on with my dad and maybe try and help Shelly get home."

"Good luck with that," Jace waved his hand, "I'll be over there," he gestured to Peeta and Morgead and Jesse, "with the normal people."

"I _am_ normal," Percy argued. "Have you guys never heard of Greek Demi―"

"Yeah, yeah, Greek demons are hard to kill," Jace said, as he waved a hand dismissively at Percy and started walking to the others.

Percy's eyes widened. He almost dropped Shelly. "Wait!" he called, blocking Jace's way, "You kill demons?"

"Duh, I'm a Shadowhunter," Jace rolled his eyes. "And a sexy one at that."

"Shadowhunter?" Peeta asked, appearing out of nowhere behind Jace, "Like, you hunt shadows and stuff?"

Percy, already forgetting about the demon-killing part, started to run away from Jace as fast as he could. "Ha!" He yelled "You caaan't get my shaaadow!"

"For the Angel's sake," Jace said, exasperated, "What is wrong with that guy?"

"I think," Jesse said thoughtfully, "That we should know _what_ we all are first."

* * *

"Peeta why don't you go first?"

Peeta looked around, unsure of how to explain that he was not from this time but from the future in which he had entered and survived the Hunger Games. Twice.

"Well, I'm a baker―"

"Yeah, yeah, we know that," Jace said in a bored tone. "We want to know what you are. Like, are you human, demon, vampire et cetera."

"Hey! I'm a vampire," Morgead cut in.

Percy gasped, "Vampires are real?"

Before Jace and Morgead could say 'duh', Percy rushed on and asked "Are you a friend of Edward Cullen? You know, the sparkling vampire?"

"Oh my god!" Peeta squealed, "You know Edward Cullen?"

"Vampires. Don't. Sparkle," Morgead said through gritted teeth, glaring at both Percy and Peeta, while Jace just turned abruptly and started walking away.

"Hey! Come back!" Peeta shouted, "What do you mean you're a Shadowhunter? Do you really hunt shadows?"

"For the Angel's sake!" Jace threw his hand up in exasperation. "I do not hunt shadows," he said slowly, emphasizing every word. "I'm a demon hunter. I hunt de-mons," he said with exaggerated patience. He jabbed a finger at Percy. "What are you? Calling the sea your dad?"

"My dad is Poseidon. God of the Seas," Percy announced proudly. "And because of that, I am half human, half god. I'm a demigod."

"So you're actually telling us that you're the son of Poseidon?" Jace raised an eyebrow.

"Duh! That's why I'm calling for my dad in the ocean! Did you think that I was doing that for fun?" Percy answered.

"Okay, so Shadowhunter," Peeta said pointing at Jace. "Demigod," he pointed at Percy. "Vampire," to Morgead.

"So you're an actual human? No special powers or anything?" Morgead asked Peeta. Peeta shook his head.

"Wow. How lame are you? Hey, where's the Spanish cowboy dude?" Morgead asked before Peeta could defend himself.

"I have a name, you know," Jesse said angrily, holding Shelly in his hand.

"Hey! That's Shelly!" Percy exclaimed, "How did she get in your hands?"

"Um, you sort of, flung her out when you were running from the Shadowhunter." Morgead and Jace snickered.

"Say, what are you?" Jace asked Jesse casually. "A fairy?"

"_Dios_! I'm only human," Jesse said, glaring at Jace.

"There's only one thing I don't get," Peeta said slowly.

"Only one? You're way ahead of the rest of us," said Jace, kicking sand around randomly.

"Where's my apron?"

"We have no idea what you're talking about," Jace answered.

"What? You guys were just smelling it a minute ago!"

The other four looked at him blankly.

"My apron!" Peeta said, his voice starting to shake. "The one you said smelled like cheese buns! Where is it?"

"Peeta," Jesse put his hand on Peeta's shoulder and spoke slowly, "there was no apron."

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**This chapter was written by: _StarLover Cat_, _filmyfurry_, _XxSugarMinuetxX_ and _wolfienur_.**

**Super thanks to _Night Worlder 13 _for being our first reviewer. :D**


	3. Oh, Great Another One

**Hi! My turn to post! **

**Thanks _so _much to everyone who reviewed! We love you guys!**

**Warning: Percy and Jace may appear very OOC in this chapter. XD Just in case, make sure nobody's watching you to give you weird looks when you're reading this story.  
**

**We don't own anything! In fact, same goes with future chapters, so when we post, assume we don't own anything except the crazy plot. When we do, we'll tell you, okay? XD  
**

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**3. Oh, Great... Another One**

For a second, nobody spoke.

"What...what? What are _you_ talking about?" Peeta said shakily, his blue eyes searching. "I _had_ an apron on when I woke up on this island!"

"Dude," Morgead said. "Dudes do not wear aprons."

"But I'm a baker!" Peeta shouted.

Percy blinked. "So?"

"I was baking cheese buns!"

"By apron," an unfamiliar, lazy voice sounded behind them, the four of them whirled around instantly. A tall, lanky figure was standing in the shadows of the trees at the edge of the jungle. The guy was holding a white apron in his hand, waving it at them, "do you mean this?"

"_Nombres de Dios_" Jesse whispered. Jace looked alarmed, his hand reaching for his stele. Peeta gasped, eyes wide. Percy just stared at the figure, dumbfounded.

It was Morgead who broke the silence.

"_Ash Redfern_."

* * *

"Oh great..." Jace growled, "Another one."

"Let me guess, you're either a vampire, shadowhunter, demigod, or a human," Jesse wondered out loud.

"Oh, don't waste your time thinking," Ash said as he walked towards them. "I'm a vampire."

"Ohoh! Do you know -" Percy started but was interrupted by Morgead.

"No, he doesn't know Edward Cullen and WE DO NOT SPARKLE!"

Percy held his hands up and backed away from Morgead, "Whoa, calm down. That's not what I was gonna ask at all."

"Oh." Morgead cleared his throat, embarrassed.

"I was gonna ask how he got here," Percy said, rolling his eyes.

Before Ash could answer, Peeta rushed forward and grabbed his apron from Ash's hand. "MINE!"

"Okay. Yours," Ash said in a bored tone, doing a face palm.

"Oh...My apron...I missed you so much," Peeta mumbled.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Morgead hissed at Ash.

"I'm your savior. I am here to rescue you all." He raised his hand up dramatically. Jace snorted, "Right." exactly the same time Percy asked, "You guys know each other?"

Ash ignored Jace and Percy. "Aren't you glad to see me here?"

Morgead glared. "No."

"No worries. I'll be gone soon anyway," Ash said carelessly.

Jace just looked at Ash skeptically and said to the sky, "Big Guy, I think you've mistaken the meaning of _food_."

"Wait." Jesse said, scowling, "What do you mean, you'll be gone soon?"

"Well, I'm just here to give him his apron," Ash said leaning on a tree. "But if you want me to stay longer, I will."

Everyone but Morgead nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we need you to help us get out of here," Jace said

Morgead growled but didn't disagree, Ash smiled lazily. "Good. Follow me, then."

Ash started to walk back the way he came from. Percy and Peeta followed him. Jace whispered to Jesse, "Wanna steal Peeta's apron again?" Jesse just shook his head. "Oh come on!" Jace raised his hand in exasperation, "Have some fun, Spanish boy!"

The two then followed the rest into the forest.

Morgead was left standing alone, "Why? Why did it have to be Ash?" He asked out loud. Realizing that he was alone, he reluctantly walked after them.

* * *

As the boys walked into the dark and dense vegetation - Ash confidently leading the way, Peeta clutching his precious apron, Percy having a murmured conversation with Shelly, Jesse investigating the insides of his pockets, Jace wishing he had Clary's power to create runes (he was really hungry) and Morgead sulking in the back - night had already fallen. The sounds of strange jungle animals raised goosebumps on Peeta's skin, as he relived some unpleasant memories.

"Shelly wants to know where we're going," said Percy, stroking the back of Shelly's...shell.

"Have a little trust, please," Ash drawled, not even bothering to look behind him.

Morgead snorted. "Oh that's rich. Trust Ash Redfern. Hahaha...ha...ha."

"Haha...ha," Percy chimed in. "What?" he said when Morgead gave him a look. "Shelly made a joke."

"I really can't get used to him talking to a crab," Jesse muttered to no one in particular.

"But," Percy said as Morgead put his hand on his forehead and shook his head, "Shelly can't stay away from the sea for too long!" He said, horrified, clutching Shelly tightly.

Ash waved a dismissive hand. "She'll get used to it. It won't take too long."

"Does anyone have salt tablet..." Percy asked nervously.

"I have an apron," Peeta suggested helpfully. "You can wrap her in my apron," he offered.

"You'll just suffocate her," Jace interrupted. "Now, everyone, stop."

The four boys stared at him while Ash just kept going.

"I'm hungry," Jace announced.

* * *

"Me too!" Percy agreed, holding Shelly up. " I think Shelly is too."

"This keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?" Peeta asked.

"Oh, stop whining and make us some food, baker boy!" Jace said, sitting down on the rocks.

Peeta scowled, "Why me?"

Jace raised an eyebrow. "Well, you seemed to be the only one who can cook."

The others nodded. "Hey, Ash!" Jesse yelled. "Lunch break!" **(I don't know if its breakfast, lunch or dinner so yeah)**

Ash stopped and looked back, "Now I know why you guys are still stuck here." He walked back towards them.

"Hey Peeta?" Percy said, "Can you bake me some blue cookies?"

"Blue cookies?" Peeta repeated, "Why would you want _blue_ cookies?"

"Long story," Percy said, stroking Shelly's shell. "Can you?" he looked up at Peeta expectantly.

"There seems to be one thing you're all missing." Jesse - who'd been listening to their conversation and finally finished investigating his pockets - said. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"Wait for Big Guy's magic to work?" Morgead suggested.

Ash, who'd been leaning againist a tree with a bored expression, picked up a pine cone on the ground and aimed it at Morgead's head.

"What the hell?" Morgead shouted, rubbing his head where the pinecone had hit.

"Don't insult the Big Guy," Ash said, his eyes, now gray, were as cold as glaciers.

Jace, who'd been inspecting his stele looked up. "I'm hungry," he said for the 24th time that day.

Percy turned to Jesse. "What's in your pockets?"

Jesse immediately adopted a thinking pose, "Hmmmmm…"

"Maybe you can..." Percy began but Jace suddenly sprang to his feet," Hey! Why don't we roast Shelly for lunch?" He said excitedly, and pointed a finger at Percy, who had slowly turned round to look at Jace in disbelief, his jaw unconsciously dropped.

Percy gave a hysterical laught, "S-S-ssshellly? Y-you-"

Jace nodded with too much enthusiasm,"Yes! I want Shelly in my Belly! Yummm! I think I can already taste her.." He licked his lips savagely.

"O-ooh..N-no y-you DON'T!" Percy shouted angrily. He sucked in a deep breath, and gave an ear-piercing scream that sent everyone collapsing onto the ground with their hands over their ears.

"Somebody stop him! My ears are bleeding!" Jace called out in pain.

Wincing, Morgead lifted up a hand. "PERCY! Stop! Calm down!"

Percy carried on screaming.

"For God's sake," Ash said with annoyance. He happened to be the only one not affected by Percy's ear-piercing scream. "Stop that, would you?"

"How can...how can you stand...?" Morgead struggled to say, his hands covering his ears again.

"How can I stand the scream? I told you not to insult the Big Guy!" Ash said, throwing his hands up.

"_Just make him SHUT UP!_" Jace shouted.

Ash picked up Peeta's apron, despite the boy's horrified expression, and shoved it in Percy's face, which immediately broke off his scream.

"I _told_ you not to upset the Big Guy," Ash said unhappily to Morgead. "Now look - those two are insane now." He pointed at a confused Percy then at Jace, trying to draw a healing rune on his ears. "And I can't get out of here until I lead you to the right place."

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Jesse said, rubbing his ears. "Let's follow Ash and get out of here."

"Fine," Morgead said. "I hope you know where you're going, Ash."

Ash smiled, "I always do."

"Wait." Jesse gestured to Percy and Jace, "Who's going to make sure they don't do anything insane again?"

Morgead answered, "Peeta, why don't you stay with them?"

Peeta didn't answer. He was staring at his apron which was in Percy's hand.

"Peeta?" Jesse waved his hand in front of his face. "Peeta!"

Peeta seemed to snap out of his trance, "MY APRON!"

Morgead slapped a hand to his forehead, "Oh, for the love of-"

"My apron!" Peeta whimpered, curling himself into the fetal position, "My apron, stranger has my apron. Apron with stranger. Apron not with me. Apronapronapronapron..."

"Perhaps," Jesse said, rubbing his chin, "Peeta is not the best person for the job."

* * *

**Written by _wofienur_, _filmyfurry_**_**, **__XxSugarMinuetxX and _StarLoverCat.

**YAY! We love reviews! Give Peeta and his apron some love... XD**


	4. A Dangerous Side Of Percy

****

Hello! Everybody! Here's another chapter for you to enjoy :) Feel free to laugh all you want, that's what this story is for :)

**Warning: Jace and Percy might still be OOC, but come on! It's because we LOVE them that's why we wrote them this way. WE LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS YOU HEAR? (Okay, just ignore me :P)  
**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, we wish we own all of these too... But if we did, the world would be very, very, very different :P  
**

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**4. A Dangerous Side Of Percy**

"You," Peeta pointed at Jess, "and you," He pointed at Percy, "and you, and you, and you." He pointed at everyone else, "Nobody touches my apron." He said, glaring. "Nobody. Understood?"

The other five boys all rolled their eyes. Under his breath, Ash said, "He really needs a soulmate." Since Peeta was just a normal, boring human being, he did not hear this. Morgead, on the other hand, gave an involuntary snort. One he tried to cover up.

"Let's just get to this place already!" Percy said, looking anxiously down at Shelly in his hands. She had lost her vibrant...brown colour and was now a less vibrant brown colour. "Shelly needs water! She needs sand! She needs sun!"

"Psst, Peeta," Jace leaned over to hiss in the baker's ear. "Seriously, can you cook Shelly?"

Peeta took a moment to answer Jace, as he was staring lovingly at his apron. "I'm sorry, what?" he looked up.

"I _said_-AHHHHHH!"

Jace never got to finish his sentence.

Because Shelly pinched him on the butt.

* * *

"Shelly...oh, there you are, Shelly." Percy said, holding Shelly up.

"What?" Percy frowned as Shelly..gestured, "Somebody was trying to eat you?"

"Oh, no." Morgead said, "Please don't make him scream again." Ash, who was apparently the only one who heard him, gave him a smug look.

"Funny." Peeta said as he cocked his head, totally oblivious of Jace cursing in the background. "I thought someone was talking to me." He said wonderingly, then he looked back at his apron with love, "Right, darling? Oh, it's all right, now, where were we..." He mumbled.

"This is sad." Ash said in a flat tone, shaking his head, "Crabs and aprons as soulmates?"

"What? Who? Shelly, stop panicking! You have to tell me who. What? I can't hear you!" Percy said, walking around as if he was talking on a phone and trying to find better reception.

"You know, butter is good for crab pinches." Jesse said to Jace.

Percy overheard and turned around to face Jace and Jesse, "Don't you dare cook Shelly!"

Jace said innocently, "What? We weren't going to." he nudged Jesse, "Yeah, we weren't" Jesse agreed.

Percy narrowed his eyes, "If you even bring up the idea of cooking Shelly again, bad things will happen to you. Very bad things." As soon as he said that, the ground started shaking, the wind blew harder like a tornado was coming. They could hear the sound of the roaring waves which should be impossible because they were far away from the sea.

"We're sorry!" Jesse yelled. "We'll never ever bring up the idea of cooknig Shelly again!"  
"Yeah!" Everyone agreed even Ash and Morgead.

"You better not." Percy warned. As soon as Percy calm down, everything turned back to normal.

"I have learnt my lesson," Jace said, "Don't ever cook Percy's pets."

* * *

An hour after Jace's butt was pinched, Ash was once again leading the five boys to god-knows-where. The only thing on everyone's mind was that it was dark. And they were going uphill. And they were thirsty. Some in more ways than one.

"Damn mosquitoes," Morgead grumbled, swatting away the offending creatures, "They think they can just suck anyone's blood without any permission at all.

"I know right," agreed Ash, "it's like they're _mocking_ us."

"Uh-" began Percy, but Jace elbowed him and shook his head.

Ash suddenly stood still. "All right, campers. Those of you who are at least forty percent human will be needing your rest now. Morgead and I will guard you against the dangers of the wild."

Peeta frowned at Ash's patronizing tone. "I don't think I like this guy," he whispered to his apron.

"Me neither." Percy said unhappily, patting Shelly's back. "Hey, does your apron want to be friends with my Shelly?"

Peeta peered at Shelly, clutching his apron tightly. "Does she bite?"

"Gods, of course she doesn't!" Percy exclaimed, "She's just about the nicest crab in the world-"  
"Yeah, real nice crab." Jace muttered.

"Okay, then." Peeta said carefully, letting Shelly crawl on his apron.

"You know," Jace said, "I'm actually thirty-eight percent human."

Ash raised an eyebrow.

"I have more angel blood in me. Jace explained, "Therefore, I would like to get out of here. Camp somewhere else."

"Yeah." Percy agreed, "This place gives me the heebie-jeebies."

Ash rolled his eyes, "You guys are such sissies."

"Hey! We're not sissies!" Percy argued, "This place is just creepy. It gives me this weird vibe."

"Yeah, I feel it too, it's like someone is watching us." Jesse said, looking around.

"Maybe it's the Big Guy upstairs." Peeta suggested helpfully, "Maybe he's going to help us."

Percy snorted, "Did you know that the Big Guy upstairs is actually my uncle, Zeus?"

Everyone except Ash groaned, "Not again."

"What?" Ash asked confused, "Your uncle is up in the sky?"

"Nooo!" Jace yelled, "Don't encourage him!"

But it was too late, Percy ignored Jace and nodded excitingly, "He's the King of the Gods. Hey, maybe he'll tell me why my dad isn't talking to me."  
He stood up and yelled to the sky, "Uncleeee Zeussss!" He waved his hands, "Please answer meeee."

Jace did a face palm, "Somebody shut him up!"

"First with the sea, now with the sky." Morgead muttered, watching Percy, now yelling frantically at the sky, "Unclee Zeussssss?"  
"By the Angel," Jace said, "I really don't like that guy."

"You're _just_ figuring that out?" Ash said, eyeing Jace from the corner of his eye.

"Did you say you have angel blood in you?" Jesse asked slowly.

"So you're like, the angel boy?" Peeta said, holding his apron and Shelly carefully, "Like the ones they put on top of Christmas trees?"

Jace groaned, glaring at Peeta. "Just shut up, would you?"

"You like that combination of words, don't you?" Morgead observed. "'Shut' and 'up'?"

"Why, yes," said Jace. "Yes, I do. Shut up."

_Shut up._

"Wha...what was that?" Jace spun around, trying to identify the source of the faint sound. "Who's there? Show yourself! And don't tell me to shut up!"

_Shut up._

"No," Jace yelled, "YOU shut up!"

_YOU shut up!_

"YOU!"

_YOU!_

"Y-" Jace was abruptly cut off by Percy slapping the back of his head.

"Dude, seriously...that's your echo," said Percy, staring at Jace like he was crazy. The black-haired boy then went back to shouting at his uncle in the sky.

"Whoa," Peeta said, "Where'd the echo come from?" Standing up, he placed Shelly and his apron carefully on the ground. "Are we in a cave?"

Jesse glanced at the surrounding. "Doesn't seems like so. But-" He trailed off when he caught sight of Percy kneeling on the ground, head tilted back, arms spread wide, yelling, "Ahhhh! Zeusssssssssss! Lord Zeusssssssssssssss!"

"You know," Jesse said, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe we should put him in my pocket or something."

Jace, after minutes of considering whether he should ignore the echo or not, said, "Shut up. I am _not_ camping here."

That's when the ground started shaking.

* * *

**W****ritten by _StarLoverCat,_ _wolfienur_, **_**XxSugarMinuetxX **_**and**_****__filmyfurry_.

Hehehehehe... As you all know, we LOVE reviews, so you know what to do right? :P


	5. An Earthquake and a Lion Dude

**Thanks to all who've reviewed! And those of you who gave suggestions, we're getting to that soon. Don't you worry. xD**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter. And I hope you like The Lion King. :P**

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**5. An Earthquake and a Lion Dude**

"What's going on?" Jesse yelled, trying not to fall.

"I think it's an earthquake!" Peeta shouted back.

"No duh!" Jace looked over to Percy, "Is your 'uncle' doing this?"

Percy who was now sprawled on the ground because of the shaking said, "Zeus is the lord of the sky. Why would he make an earthquake?" He tried to get up but he was knocked down by Peeta who had lost his balance.

"Oof!"

"Dude! Get off me!"

"No, you get off _me_!"

"How am I suppose to do that? You're on top of ME!"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!"

"_Nombre de Dios_! "

Ash and Morgead, who were standing calmly as if nothing was happening shook their heads.

"Why is this happening to me?" Morgead said, looking skyward.

"Why is this happening to _me_." Ash muttered, rolling his eyes as he watched the other boys scramble.

"Is it because of the chocolate?" Morgead went on, ignoring Ash, "Jez, I'm sorry I stole your chocolate!" He waited. "I want to get the hell out of here!" He shouted, losing control.

"I'm not even supposed to be here!" Ash said, exasperated, "You think I don't want to get out?"

"Hello?" Percy said, waving at Ash and Morgead. "A little bit of help here?" Then he gasped, "It's Gaea!" He looked horrified, "She's going to swallow us―"

"Mother Earth?" Jace said, regaining some of his balance. "Wait, let me guess: she's your aunt."

"You know Greek mythology?"

"Is that surprising?"

"Very," Jesse said, trying to avoid getting kicked in the head by Peeta's foot. "_Dios_!"

"Shut up."

"NO! MY APRON!"

"NO! My Shelly!'' yelled Percy as he pushed Peeta away and staggered to his feet, eyes frantically darting all over the place, "Peeta! Where did you place them?"

"I..I.." Peeta stammered, and pointed to where Shelly and his apron used to be. Then wrapping his arms around a tree to steady himself, he wailed loudly, "I...I.. Want my apron!"

"Now, if both of you'd just SHUT UP first, we'll help to find them. All right?" Jace said through gritted teeth and gestured at the rest to start searching.

"That... probably isn't the best idea right now," Morgead replied, glancing nervously at the sky  
now filled with ominous grey clouds when a bolt of lightning tore across.

"Uncle Zeusy!" exclaimed Percy. "He's here to rescue us! I think..."

The ground had stopped shaking and the sky became quiet. The boys (or men) were all silent for once, staring up at the sky. The clouds were swirling together in the oddest way. Just swirling and swirling and swirling until a face became visible. The face...of a lion.

"SIMBAAAAAA..." said the cloud-lion in the sky, in what had to be the deepest voice known to man (or boy).

"What the hell," said Jace.

"Heyyy," Percy squinted up at the cloud-lion. "You're not Uncle Zeusy."

* * *

"What happened to your aunt?" Jesse asked wonderingly.

"She's not my aunt," Percy said, still squinting. "She's my great-grandmother. And he―" Percy pointed at the cloud-lion, "well, I don't even know who the heck _he _is."

"What a happy family," Morgead said. "A dad in the sea, an uncle in the sky, a great- grandmother who tried to kill us."

Percy cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted, "HEY! BIG GUY UP THERE! WHO ARE YOU?"

Peeta was talking to the tree he was hugging. "Did you ever have that feeling, that your heart's been torn out?" He sobbed, "And your chest feels so empty and hollow―and you feel like you can't live without it?" He stared incoherently at the ground. "Have you?" He asked the tree, hugging himself closer to it, "Cause that's what I feel like right now―without my apron."

"Oh my god," Ash said, staring at Peeta in disbelief, "This guy has an apron as a soulmate."

"PERCY," A voice boomed from the sky.

Percy jumped out of his skin at the thunderous voice. He scuttled to the base of the tree where Peeta was and held his arms in front of his face. "Please don't hurt me lion dude!"

The lion dude snorted, "I don't care about you, I'm looking for my son, Simba."

"Who-a?" asked Morgead, slapping a mosquito away.

"Simba."

"Dumbo?"

The lion dude sighed, said "useless humans" then made the clouds swirl him away.

"Hey!" Ash and Morgead yelled at the same time. "I'm not human!"

But the cloud-lion had already gone.

Peeta, oblivious to all that was happening, continued to tell the tree his troubles. "...and I didn't put in enough yeast so the bread didn't rise! Then Haymitch messed up my frosting, so then…"

"Dude, shut up." Jace said, shooting Peeta a death glare. The baker went silent.

"You can have my cowboy pocket," Jesse said sympathetically to Peeta, offering his pocket. "It can be...an apron pocket or something..."

"No, no, no, no!" Peeta shouted hysterically, shaking his head and hugging himself tighter to the tree, "I want my apron..." Then he said to the tree, "You see? They're trying to trick me...I know my apron..."

"That's it," Ash said to himself, "I'm going home!"

"But," said Jesse, putting a muscular Spanish hand on Ash's arm, "you said you had to bring us somewhere."

"I was. But you guys are hopeless! I don't see how you'll survive another day!" Ash sighed, exasperated. "Especially with those guys on your tail."

Ash was pointing to Percy. Then to Peeta, hugging the base of the tree, murmuring, "My apron...my apron...They took my apron...they took her..."

"Oh, for the Angel's sake, did he just refer to his apron as a 'she'?" Jace said, disbelieving.

"She? Sh...Shelly! Where is my Shelly?" Percy moaned.

Ash raised an eyebrow at Jesse. "See what I mean?"

"But...how are you going to get out of here?" Jesse asked, scowling, "Can't we all get out of here?"

"Hey. I want to get out of here!" Morgead said, following the conversation.

"Shelly...Shelly! Where are you Shelly?" Percy howled, walking aimlessly around. When he saw Peeta at the base of the tree, his eyes flashed, "Have you seen Shelly?"

"She was so sweet...wherever I am, she's always there with me, baking bread with me...and her scent―oh, her scent..." Peeta rambled on, completely ignoring Percy.

Percy's eyes widened, "Shelly bakes bread?" He shook his head furiously, "Shelly's mine!"

"And the days we spent together...And now…and now..."

"No, no, Shelly's mine! How did you get to spend time with Shelly?" Percy shouted.

"I'm with Ash." Jace said, "I'm getting out of here."

"But we can't just leave them here." Jesse said, stopping Jace.

Jace scowled, "Why? Clearly they are, what do you say, _loco_?"

They both looked towards Percy and Peeta who were now chasing each other around the tree yelling "My APRON!" and " SHELLY's MINE!"

"Well..." Jesse started slowly, "They are our friends..."

The other three looked at him blankly.

Sighing, Ash spoke up, "Fine."

"Okay, so how do we get them to move?" Morgead asked.

"I have an idea." Jace said, "Watch me." Jace ran ahead of them and yelled with fake enthusiasm, "I think I saw Shelly and an apron here!"

Percy and Peeta both halted and snapped their heads toward Jace.

"WHAT?"

* * *

...

"MINE!" Peeta shouted, knocking Percy aside. "MY apron!"

Jace rolled his eyes, but quickly took advantage of his working plan. He kept ahead of Peeta. "Oh, your apron's right over there, follow me!"

And so, an hour passed, Jace and Ash leading the way. All the while, either Jace or Morgead or Jesse would reassure Percy and Peeta that Shelly/the apron was close. This worked until Peeta suddenly refused to go any further. The reason was that his artificial leg was hurting, but he covered that up by saying, "I demand to know where my apron is. Right. Now."

Ash looked at Morgead. Morgead looked at Jace. Jace looked at Jesse. Jesse looked down at his feet and sheepishly stuffed his hands in his pockets―

"OUCH!"

Jesse pulled his hand of out his pocket.

Hanging onto his finger was none other than ―

"SHELLY!" Percy yelled, running towards Jesse. "There you are!"

Jesse took Shelly off his finger and handed it to a hyperactive Percy.

"Oh, Shelly!" Percy hugged Shelly to his chest. "Don't ever do that again." He turned towards Jesse and flung one arm around him in a _manly_ hug. "Thank you soo much!" Percy gushed.

Peeta stood silently watching the happy reunion between Percy and Shelly.

Morgead touched his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"…"

"What?" Morgead asked, leaning closer as Peeta mumbled something inaudible.

"I think you'd better stay away from him," Jace suggested. "Psychologically speaking, a sudden mood change―"

"MY APRON!" Peeta exploded, kicking and punching, "WHERE IS SHE?"

Morgead backed away from Peeta, "Okay. Okay. Calm down." He held up his hands.

Percy was holding Shelly, looking terrified, "Shh..it's ok, Shelly, it's ok..."

"PEETA!" Jace yelled, "CALM DOWN!"

"I. Want. My. APRON!" Peeta screamed in Jace's face.

Jace quickly grabbed Peeta's shoulder, forcing him to the ground. "Some help, please?"

Peeta struggled, kicking and punching Jace. "LET ME GO! I NEED HER!"

"I'm sorry, Peeta," Jesse said in a smooth voice, kneeling down beside Peeta and Jace, "But your apron is nowhere to be found."

Percy knelt beside Jesse, "If I give you Shelly, would you be okay?"

Peeta stopped struggling and looked at Percy, "But you love Shelly, why would you give her to me?"

Percy shrugged, "It was Shelly's idea. She was tired of your yelling."

* * *

**Yeah. We sort of got carried away with Peeta's craziness... x_x**

**Review, and maybe he'll find his apron!**


	6. The Feeling is Hunger

**Seriously guys, your reviews keep getting better and better and frankly, we're in love with all of you. **

**Was that creepy?...Sorry.**

**In this chapter... Well, it seems like Percy and Peeta are still...brain missing.**

**Enjoy!**

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6. The Feeling is...Hunger**

Peeta's eyes widened. "So...you're willing to give me Shelly?"

Percy considered it for a moment. "Well, I love Shelly," He said solemnly, his green eyes were clear. He cradled Shelly in his arms carefully. "But this is Shelly's will. If she really wants to, I'll let her. If you love

something, you have to set it free, you know?"

"Even..even if it won't come back?" Peeta staggered.

"If it was meant to be, it will." Percy said with determination. "Now, Do you want Shelly or not?"

Peeta looked at Percy, then at Shelly. His gaze went back and forth between Percy and Shelly. He looked at Jesse, and he gave him a nod of encouragement.

"All right..then. Maybe for a while." His expression softened. "My apron will return to me."

"I have to admit," Ash said,amused, leaning againist a tree watching the other boys, "they're quite a pair."

Morgead made a noise like choked laughter.

"If it weren't the fact that they can't bare marks," Jace said, rubbing his head where Peeta had kicked him, "I'd put a silent rune on both of them."

"You're just jealous." Ash said, "No one's offering you anything so far."

"I don't need any gifts." Jace said, defended. "I got my stele and most importantly -" He pointed at himself, "Myself, to keep me company."

"If your 'stele' is so awesome, then why aren't you using it?" Morgead asked.

"Hey! Don't air quote my stele." Jace shouted.

Morgead looked at Jace confused. "What?"

"You were air quoting me!"

"How can I air quote you?"

"You just did!"

"This is just 'awesome'" Ash muttered to Jesse .

"_Sí_," Jesse agreed, oblivious to Ash's sarcasm. "This is definitely a unique experience."

Jesse studied Peeta with academic interest. He had never seen someone go from completely normal to completely insane so fast. And all over an apron that smelled like sunshine and sweat. Next to Peeta, Percy was watching the baker pet Shelly softly. Percy felt tremors go through his body at the sight. What was that? Jealousy? Longing? Wait, no...no, it can't be...the feeling was...

Hunger.

* * *

"Man. I'm starved." Morgead complained.

Peeta, who was holding Shelly the way he'd hold his apron widened his eyes. There was a look of terror on his face. Then...He ran away.

"Peeta!" Jesse shouted exactly the same time Percy shouted, "SHELLY!"

Jace just grumbled, "I'm hungry."

Percy started running after Peeta, mumbling, "'tSHELLY."

"Oh, great." Morgead said unhappily, staring after Percy running on the spot, totally oblivious of Ash dragging his shirt, stopping him from advancing.

"Someone has to go after Peeta!" Jesse said, looking at Morgead and Jace.

"Well, it certainly isn't me." Ash said, "because I'm occupied." He gestured to Percy whom was now noticing that he wasn't going forward.

"Hey!" he protested, "What is your problem?"

"Well, I couldn't just let you run off now could I?" Ash replied, adjusting his grip on Percy's shirt. "We don't want to chase after you."

"But Peeta's got Shelly!" Percy yelled.

"I'm sure he isn't hungry like _me _to cook him." Jace grumbled. As soon as Jace said _'cook' _Percy's eyes widen. Then he had this thoughtful look on his face. You could practically see a light bulb going on inside his head.

"What are you thinking?" Ash asked slowly.

Percy didn't answer instead he ripped his shirt in two and quickly ran after Peeta, leaving Ash standing there with a piece of what used to be Percy's shirt, gaping after him.

Although Peeta was yelling loud enough to drown out all noise, although the wind was howling by his ears, and although he was fifty feet away from the other five boys (or men), he heard it.

He heard the sound of ripping fabric. Peeta's shirt. Peeta's shirt that he'd given to _Percy_.

The baker skidded to a halt, almost dropping Shelly. He slowly turned around to face Percy, barreling toward him. Percy, seeing the murderous look on the other boy's face, slowed down. He almost forgot about Shelly as Peeta narrowed his eyes at his shirtless form and said in a low voice, "Oh, no you di'nt."

"Huh?" Percy asked, baffled. "I didn't what? What were you thinking? Where's Shelly? Is she-"

"You didn't." He repeated, his expression stoic. He was standing half in the moonlight and half in the shadows, his eyes as cold as glaciers.

Percy took a step back, "Whoa, dude, what's the matter?" He asked nervously.

"My. Shirt." Peeta answered through gritted teeth, no longer looking like the baker boy who mourned over the disappearance of his apron. He look..almost _dangerous_.

Percy blanched. "W-what? Where's Shelly?"

Peeta remained silent.

"Hey! You guys want pizza?" Jace shouted enthusiastically, running towards them.

* * *

Jace stopped short as he took in the scene before him. It looked like a face-off between the two crazies of the island, except they didn't look so crazy anymore. Peeta especially, Jace thought with alarm. The baker's blonde hair was being blown every which way by the ferocious winds, and his blue eyes, though mostly hidden by shadow, glinted dangerously.

"What's...going on?" Jace asked finally.

"Go back, Jace," Peeta said, his voice lower than Jace had ever heard it before. "We don't need any witnesses."

"Uh, witnesses would be nice!" Percy stuttered, looking extremely nervous. "Jace, Jace staaaaaaay!"

Poor Jace was torn. Percy's desperate eyes were begging him to help him, while Peeta's stare was warning him to stay away. Just as Jace was about to make his decision, Peeta's face burst into a huge grin.

"Naw, I'm just kiddin'! Ya'll shoulda seen the looks on yer faces!"

Everyone was so shocked, they didn't even question his sudden country accent.

"What?" Peeta said, seeing the shocked faces of Percy and Jace, "Ya gotta problem?"

"So..you want pizza?" Jace offered.

"Where..where's Shelly?" Percy asked feeblely, recovering from his shock.

"Shelly? Who the hell's Shelly?" Peeta said.

"Shelly! My crab! I gave her to you!" Percy said, his voice starting to get high. "Where is she?"

Peeta looked at him blankly, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you are talking about."

Percy grabbed Peeta's shoulders and shook him, "WHERE IS SHELLY?"

"I-I ddon'tt kknoww" Peeta tried to shake Percy off but the Son of Poseidon was just too strong, "Jace? A little help here?"

Jace shook his head, "Not a chance, baker boy."

"What?"

"I'm mad that you trick us!"

"It was just a joke!" Peeta said, still trying to remove Percy's hands from his shoulders. Percy was unaffected by his actions, and was still yelling "SHELLY?" in Peeta's face.

Jace watched with amusement, "This is what I call payback."

Percy was still yelling in Peeta's face, and was about to strangle him when the others arrived.

"_Dios_" Jesse whispered when he saw what was happening.

"So, it's his turn to be the...abnormal one." Morgead said, eyeing Percy.

"Apparently so." Jace said, shrugging.

"No, he's not." Ash said, looking at the sky, "When he starts acting like a qualified human being, that's when you know he's _abnormal_" He crossed his arms in front of his chest, "And generally, qualified human beings do not talk and befriend crabs, or crazy baker boys with an apron soulmate, They do not talk to the sea, or talk to the sky-"

"Shut up." Jace said ,irritated.

"Apron?" Peeta's eyes widened, "My APRON!" He howled, "Where is it?"

"Where's Shelly?" Percy continued yelling frantically.

"Where's my apron?"

"For once," Morgead said, shaking his head, "You should've listened to Jace. Shut up, Ash."

"Don't tell me to shut up." Ash snapped back, "Tell _them _." He gestured to Percy and Peeta who were now yelling at Jesse, "Where is Shelly?" "Where is my apron!"

Jesse was trying to calm both of them down, but his effort was in vain.

"Do you think we should go and help him?" Morgead asked after a while.

"Nah," Ash said, "He can handle it."

"Well, I'm going to find something to eat!" Jace announced. "I'm freaking hungry!"

"You know what?" Ash snapped. The insanity of the island and its dwellers was starting to get to him. "If you're so _freaking_ hungry, we should just go back to the beach."

Percy stopped mid-yell and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, that is good. I need to have a word with my father."

The other five boys suppressed their groans, partly at the 'father' comment, partly because they'd walked all this way into the jungle only to go back to where they started.

"Well," Jesse sighed, "let's get going."

**

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Reviewssssssssssss...please?**

**This chapter was written by _wolfienur_, _filmyfurry_, _XxSugarMinuetxX_ and _StarLover Cat _**


	7. The A Word

**I'm sorry that we don't reply reviews as often as we should. We're all pretty busy with studying for exams that could determine our whole futures and whatnot. Y'know, normal stuff. But there are people we want to give shout outs to: _FallenAngelitz_, _Night Worlder 13 _and _MOONLIGHT-97_. **

**Thanks guys, for sticking with us and making time to read this pile of nonsense. :)**

**

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**7. The A Word**

Two hours later, two humans, two vampires, one demigod and one Shadowhunter collapsed on the sandy beach. All of them had gone approximately 24 hours without sleeping, eating or drinking. The two humans were especially suffering.

Jesse was looking longingly at the ocean, wishing it wasn't full of salt. "Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink..."

"Now I know how Katniss felt," Peeta moaned, licking his dry lips.

"I'm so hungry I'm not even going to comment on what a stupid name Katniss is," Jace muttered, patting his rumbling stomach.

"Hey! It's no stupider than 'Percy.'" Peeta snapped. "Sounds like Posy. This guy I know, Gale, has a little sister named Posy. Psht."

"Hey!" Percy attempted to beat Peeta's face in, but he was too weak. The still-shirtless boy's arm drooped in mid-air.

"Sorry," Peeta mumbled, "islands make me cranky."

"Yes, they do," Jace said, covering his face with his hands. "Argh! I can't believe that we're back here again."

Ash crossed his arms. "Well, too bad. You were hungry."

"Well, we could have just hunted in the forest or something."  
"I don't think that's possible," Percy moaned. "We're all too tired and hungry and thirsty to do anything."

"That's true," Morgead agreed. "I wish Jez was here."

"I wish Annabeth was here, she would know what to do," Percy said, thinking about the gray-eyed, blond daughter of Athena.

"Katiniss would as well," Peeta agreed ignoring Jace's past comment about her name.

"So would Clary," Jace added.

"And Mary-Lynette," Ash said, sadness in his voice instead of boredom for once.

"Susannah..." Jesse murmured.

For that moment, the six men (yes, they are all men now) were all thinking about their love ones and wondered how on earth they would get back to them.

"Okay!" Jace suddenly jumped to his feet, breaking the moment. "No more moping. We need energy and we need energy now. Who knows how to build a fire?"

Peeta raised his hand tiredly, "I learned when I was-"

"Yeah, yeah, when you were a wee little baby. Isn't that right, Baker Boy?" Jace cut in. Peeta suddenly realized that none of his island companions knew of his past in the Hunger Games. They probably didn't even know what the Hunger Games was. Before he could correct Jace, however, the Shadowhunter had already started barking more orders. "Morgead, I'll need you to dig a big hole and collect the biggest rocks you can find. Ash, get some seawater. Jesse and Percy, you're in charge of food. Fish, fruit, whatever."

"And what about you?" Ash said skeptically.

Jace smirked. "I'll supervise, of course."

* * *

Morgead ignored Jace. He stared at the luminous full moon. The silver moonlight spilled on the white sand, as if a sheet of frost covered it. The colour reminded Morgead of the silver in Jez's eyes, which faded so much now since she no longer consumed blood. Jez...

"Get off my face!" Morgead's thoughts were interrupted by Percy's shouting. He was covering his face with his hands. "Ahh! Get off my face!"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry..." Peeta apologized. Morgead didn't even want to know what anyone was doing on anyone else's face.

Ash Redfern remained where he was standing. "Supervise?" Ash said, "Why, I guess someone who suggested we grill someone's beloved crab is just such an excellent supervisor."

"You got a better idea, vampire?" Jace said, glaring.

"Sure, I guess the baker boy's apron just magically appeared when he was about to go insane. Oh, wait, I guess I just volunteered to be here on this damned island."

"And we spent the last few hours doing such useful things with you."

"You'll regret this." Ash said in a dangerous tone, eyes cold.

"You're right," Jace said icily, his eyes were a colour of dark gold. "I regret I didn't just stake you the first chance I had."

Jesse, who was silently observing the exchange, raised a hand to his scarred eyebrow. "You guys are making no sense."

"You know what? This whole story makes no sense!" Ash growled.

"Story?" Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow. "What story?"

"THIS story! The one those four insane girls are writing!"

"..." said everyone other than Ash.

"What the hell," Jace said, "are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me you don't know," Ash said, irritated.

Jesse stared at him blankly. Jace was watching Peeta and Percy having a sand fight (everyone had completely ignored Jace's orders ― naturally), but he was scowling.

"Look. You, you," Ash pointed at Jace and Jesse, "Those two, Morgead, and me." He gestured at himself, "You don't think we wound up on this island by accident, do you? We're clearly part of a bigger story."

Jesse shook his head, "I'm not following you."

"Fiction, man! We're freaking fiction!"

"Um, are you feeling all right?"

"GAH!" Ash threw his arms up in frustration. "This is worse than I thought..."

"What do you mean we're a part of a story?" Jesse asked. Clearly he was interested in Ash's theory.

Jace waved a hand dismissively, "He's just imagining it, Jesse, don't listen to him."

"But I need to know!" Jesse said, looking like he was in actual pain. "I just need to!"

Ash sighed and looked at him. "Fine, I will say this one more time―"

"HEY GUYS!" Percy yelled, waving his hands. "COME OVER HERE! LOOK WHAT WE FOUND!

The four of them groaned. "Should we even bother?" Morgead asked.

"COME ON!" Peeta shouted, "IT IS JUST AMAZING!"

"All right, we're going..." Jesse agreed, knowing that Percy and Peeta would never stop yelling unless they go and see what whatever they wanted to show them.  
"But after this―" Jesse turned to Ash, "You HAVE to finish telling us about this 'story.'"

Ash shrugged, and the four somewhat normal men of the island moved nearer to Percy and Peeta.

"So what is it that you want to show us?" Jace said with annoyance.

"Look! Don't you see?" Percy said, pointing at the ground.

Jesse squinted against the darkness. "I don't see anything."

"Oh, please, it's probably just them hallucinating about crabs with a―"

"Apples." Morgead finished off for Ash hastily.

"Apples?" Peeta's eyes widened.

"Apples. Yeah, to eat," Morgead answered carefully, eyeing Ash with meaning.

Ash frowned. "That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Yes, it was," Morgead said. "The A word."

"What's the A word?" Percy asked in wonder.

Ash shook his head. "I was going to say apr-"

"April," Jesse interrupted before Ash could finish.

"You know," Jace said, stopping Ash from causing another apron-induced meltdown. "I think they did find something."

The rest of them stared at him as he pointed at the barely visible tunnel in the ground.

"Look," said Peeta, pointing. "It's like there's a storm in there or something."

"Uh-oh," Percy said. "This looks familiar. This is bad. This is-"

"SPARTA!" Jace yelled, causing all the boys (ahem...men) around him to jump. They stared at him like his crazy was catching. "What?" Jace said defensively. "Haven't you guys seen that movie?"

"Um," Jesse the Spanish hottie turned away from Jace with deliberate slowness, "moving on."

Morgead squinted into the "storm" in the ground. It looked like a figure was approaching. The sky became darker, the waves crashed harder. Percy's face rearranged itself into an expression of recognition and annoyance.

"Incoming," he sighed, and went to stand under a tree.

* * *

******This chapter was written by: _StarLover Cat_, _filmyfurry _and _wolfienur._**

**Apologies in advance if the next update doesn't come for a while. Like I said, we'll be studying, nerds that we are. X_X **

**Please review, and don't forget about us!**


	8. And Then There Were Seven

**We're a little late, but: Happy New Year, everyone! Who watched the CNN coverage of the Times Square celebration with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin? Wasn't it hilarious?**

**KG: This person from Twitter wants to know what your favourite Justin Bieber song is.**

**AC: I don't know any of his songs.**

**KG (starts singing - badly): Baby, baby, baby, oh...baby, baby, baby.**

**AC: Are those all the lyrics?**

**KG: That's literally the whole song.**

**AC: That's pathetic.**

**What a way to start 2011. x)****

* * *

**

**8. And Then There Were Seven**

"What are you talking about now, Sea Boy?" Jace asked with annoyance. "What's coming?"

"I believe the right word is 'who,'" Percy answered in a philosophical voice. "_Who _is coming?"

Jace sighed. "So _who_ is coming?"

Percy opened his mouth to answer but before he could, something (or rather, _someone_) appeared out of the tree's shadow, crashing into Percy.

"Ouch!" the figure exclaimed.

"Argggg," Percy groaned under him. "Get off me Nico!"

"Percy!" Nico exclaimed. "What in Hades are you doing here?"

"Get off me first!" Percy wailed.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Another one?" Morgead muttered to himself. "I thought this story was called 'One Island, _Five _Boys.'"

"Okay, you know him?" Jace asked Percy, unable to conceal his incredulity.

"Does he have an uncle in the sky too?" Ash asked flippantly, pointing at the sky. "And a dad in the sea?"

"Can you make bread?" asked Peeta, hoping for a fellow baker.

"_Dios_, people just keep appearing on this island and we don't know how to get off," Jesse said to no one in particular.

Nico stared at them blankly. "Who are they?" he asked, gesturing to the rest of the group.

"Well, to make a long introduction short," Percy said, turning to the rest of the men. "Everyone, LINE UP!"

Everyone looked at one another in confusion but obeyed Percy's order.

"This is Jace, Morgead, Ash, Jesse and Peeta. Shadowhunter, vampire, vampire, human and…uh, human from the future. Respectively."

"And everyone, this is Nico, Son of Hades!" Percy announced, clapping Nico on the back, "And Ash?"

"What?" Ash asked, annoyed.

"His dad is underground, he rules the Underworld!"

* * *

There was a brief silence. Then came a series of gasping and gulping from Peeta.

Ash eyed him weirdly before his gaze returned to Nico. "Why are you here?"

"Oh I-"

"No…N-No," Peeta paused, took a deep shuddering breath, and carried on. "You can't do this to me! To us! I'm too young. This is unfair! I know exactly why you're here and I won't let you take me away!"

Nico gave a startled laugh. "What are you talking about? Take you where?"

"I know…okay? I'm not stupid. You...YOU...trapped us on this awful island!" he yelled, gesticulating wildly. "Now, you're here to drag us to the Underworld where we shall suffer for all eternity! But why? WHY?"

Peeta sank to his knees, practically sobbing.

Nico only stared down blankly, more confused than ever. "Um," said the son of Hades, "I'm just looking for Percy. I don't really care about...the rest of you."

The baker lifted his head and blinked. He was clearly embarrassed as he got back to his feet and wiped his hand across his eyebrows. "Oh. Right."

"Don't mind him," said Ash. "He's just suffering from the loss of his apr-"

"Apricot!" Morgead yelled, jumping in front of Ash, smashing his hand onto the other vampire's mouth. "Peeta likes apricots, but this island doesn't have any."

Ash disgustedly shoved Morgead's hand away. "Why do you keep cutting me off when I keep wanting to say 'APRON'?"

Time stood still. Breaths were held. Eyes cautiously slid over to Peeta Mellark. In Jesse's head, the 'Jaws' theme started playing. Ash, realizing his mistake, gulped. _Oops._

It was Nico di Angelo who broke the silence. "Apron...I saw an apron earlier today."

Peeta's eyes widened. He grabbed Nico by the collar of his shirt. "Was it white? Did it have a big pocket in the front?"

"Peeta, Peeta, you're asking all the wrong questions." Percy stepped in between Peeta and Nico and helped Nico get free of Peeta. And then Percy grabbed Nico's shirt and yelled in his face. "Did it smell like sunshine and sweat? WAS THERE A CRAB IN IT?"

"Gods!" Nico scowled, pushing Percy away. "This island's making you crazy, Percy!"

Jace raised an eyebrow. "You sure it's the island?"

* * *

Nico stared at the Shadowhunter with distaste. Percy was oblivious to Jace's insult. He kept on screaming in Nico's face. "Crab! Shelly! Was she there? WAS SHE?"

"Dude, calm down," Nico yelled back. "What's wrong with you?"

Peeta was staring at the horizon, reminiscing about his days with his apron. Him and his apron baking bread together. Him and his apron watching as the bread rose and the smell...oh, the smell...apron, apron, apron...

"Listen, Percy, listen," Nico was saying urgently. "Everyone at Camp is looking for you. Annabeth..."

"Annabeth?" Percy said, eyes wide. "Annabeth...You mean, Shelly?"

"Who's Shelly?" Nico asked, then went on. "But listen, we have to get out of here."

"Yeah, and thanks for ignoring us, we totally get what's going on here," Jace interrupted Nico.

"Oh, Annabeth!" Percy yelled suddenly.

"Yes, Annabeth!" Nico said. "She's been so worried about you."

Percy suddenly felt guilty. First he made Annabeth worry about him (he knew she was going to kick his butt as soon as he got back). Secondly, he lost Shelly, who, in a way was his only connection to his demigod life but now that Nico was here, he could help them and everything would be okay again.

"Dude!" Jace yelled trying to get Nico's and Percy's attention. "What is going on here?"

Nico rolled his eyes, "I'm here to take Percy back to Camp."

"Camp?" Jesse asked. "Like, a summer camp?"

"Yup, a summer camp for demigods called Camp Half-Blood." Nico explained quickly. "It's the only place safe for demigods."

"Interesting." Ash said, not meaning it. "Are you wearing guy-liner?"

"What?"

"So can you take us to this Camp?" Morgead asked before Ash could blow their chance for escape.

"Are you demigods?" Nico snapped, getting annoyed at being asked so many questions. And at the guy-liner comment. He looked at Percy for help, but the Son of Poseidon seemed to be staring at the ocean.

"Percy?"

No answer.

"Percy!"

"Huh?" said Percy, still gazing intently into the sea. "What do you want?"

"Oh, I dunno. Your attention would be nice."

"What are you looking at, Percy?" asked Jesse.

"There, look."

The five - no, wait. The six - oh, right. The _seven_ males of the island turned their gazes to where Percy Jackson was pointing. There, in the frothy shore of the beach, was a plastic box. Jace inched his way toward the box, brandishing his mighty stele in case of danger. He poked the box, he sniffed the box and...he made us swear not to tell anyone, but...he licked the box.

"Oh," said Jace. He sniffed the box again. "Oh, my god, FOOD!"

Jace Wayland found the clasp to open the box and found it was full of chocolate chip cookies. Not exactly nutritious, but it was FOOD so who cared? He devoured ten cookies by the time Morgead and Ash pulled him away from the box using their sexy vampire powers.

"Look, a note." Jesse reached down and picked up a small piece of folded paper. He scanned the words and sheepishly looked over at Peeta. "I believe this is for you."

Confused, Peeta took the note. His eyes widened.

_Peeta,_

_I don't know where you are, but I hope you're safe. They told me you would be safe. Here's some cookies that Greasy Sae made. I don't know how good they'll be. Also, Haymitch was around when she baked them so they're probably spiked. _

_I miss you. Come home soon._

_Katniss_

"How come _you_ get to get a note from your girlfriend?" Percy asked loudly, looking over Peeta's shoulders.

Peeta continued to stare at the note, awestruck. Ash and Morgead took their eyes off the hungry Jace and crowded around Peeta alongside Jesse and Nico to read the note. Jace, now enjoying his chocolate chip cookies, was completely uninterested in what the other…men were doing.

"I want a note from Jez!" Morgead complained after reading the note.

"So that she can tell you how ardently she loves and admire you when you're stuck on this island?" Ash said lazily. "Who would call themselves Greasy Sae? It's an _awful_ name."

"Okay. Okay, we seem to be getting side-tracked." Nico said after wondering the same thing Ash was. "Percy?"

"The cookies are spiked?" Jesse said, turning his gaze on Jace. "Jace, the cookies are spiked!"

"No, they're not," Jace argued, hugging the box in front of his chest tightly. "You're just jealous. You're all jealous!"

"Percy, we gotta-" Nico was saying when Jace stuffed one of the chocolate chip cookies in his mouth.

"Do you like it?

Nico started gagging as Jace was still holding the cookie in his mouth.

"Jace!" yelled Percy. "Get your arm out of his throat; you're gonna kill him!" As an afterthought Percy added, "Actually...that wouldn't be such a problem for him, would it? Eh? Eh?" He nudged Jesse's ribs with his elbow, seeing if the Spanish cowboy would get his joke. Jesse only raised an eyebrow.

"W-what did yooo sayy?" Jace slurred.

Ash slapped a hand against his forehead. "Great. Just great. It was bad enough when he was an annoying, egotistical Shadowhunter. Now he's a _drunk_, annoying, egotistical Shadowhunter."

"Who yoo callin' drunk? I'm not drunk," said Jace. He didn't seem to notice that Nico was biting his arm to make him let go. "And I'm not a testical!"

"I didn't _say_ 'testical', I said 'egotistical!"

Jace ignored this. "Because you see, if I were a testical...I would be full of-"

Nico, inspired by this drunken speech, kneed Jace in between the legs, knocking him out. The son of Hades spit out the cookie and the taste of Jace's skin (was that...barbeque?) and wiped his mouth.

He looked at the four - dammit. The _five_ awestruck, slack-jawed males and shrugged. "Had to be done."

* * *

**Teehee. Kicked in the nads by a son of Hades. :D**

******This chapter was written by: _StarLover Cat_, _filmyfurry, XxSugarMinuetxX, _and _wolfienur._**

**Anyway. Why don't ya'll tell us, in a review, what your resolutions are for this year and what you hope to achieve. Or, y'know, tell us if you just plan to live in front of the computer the whole year. ;)**


	9. Shelly's Best Friend

**We're back! ...For now. Wowza, 18 reviews since we last posted, thanks so much, guys! We never expected this lame excuse of a fanfiction to be so well-received, honest!**

**Featured review: "... this story is so FUNNY. I accidentally spat out my apple because i was laughing." Thanks spiritdreamer111!**

**For those who asked, Jesse de Silva (god, what a hottie) is from the Mediator series by Meg Cabot. :)**

**Now, please enjoy this latest instalment of One Island Five Boys.**

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**9. Shelly's Best Friend**

"Oh. My. God," Peeta said, awestruck. "You are my hero!"

"Hey!" Percy protested, "I thought I was your hero!"

Peeta looked at him strangely, "When did I ever say that?"

"When you said to me: 'Percy, you are my hero'," Percy said, crossing his arms.

"Here we go again," Morgead murmured. "Another _intellectually stimulating_ debate."

"Does this," Nico gestured to Percy and Peeta, "happen often?"

"Psht, you have no idea," Ash answered. "It's a good thing you knocked out Jace or else he would have joined in."

Nico sighed. "Wow, I came just in time."

Morgead looked at Nico as if he were a bag of O-negative. "You…you're actually…normal! Jesse! He's normal! Like you and me!"

Jesse smiled a small smile and nodded. The three men stood there silently as they watched Percy, who was now chasing Peeta around the unconscious Jace...

After a while, Jesse moved away from the group to examine the alcoholic cookies. Cautiously, he took a small bite of the cookie...and promptly spit it back out, sputtering. Morgead, Ash and Nico turned around to see what had made the Spanish cowboy lose his permanent cool.

"This is rubbing alcohol!" Jesse managed to choke out. His whole mouth burned.

Ash raised his eyebrows. "Rubbing alcohol? How did Jace manage to eat sixty cookies spiked with rubbing alcohol?"

"Because he's Jace," Morgead stated, as if it explained everything.

The others looked at him blankly, Morgead shrugged.

Sighing, Nico said, "Well if the cookies were spiked with rubbing alcohol, I suppose I owe Jace an apology."

"Go tell him yourself," Ash said, gesturing at Jace's unconscious form.

The four of them walked over to Jace where Percy and Peeta were sitting and panting from their chase earlier. They seem to have tired themselves, looking like two 6-year-olds crashing from a sugar high.

"How's Jace?" Nico asked.

"Well, he's...passed out..." Percy answered.

"No kidding, Captain Obvious, we thought he was pole dancing," Ash said sarcastically.

Percy got a hideous mental image at these words and shuddered.

"How do we wake him up?" Morgead asked.

"Ohh!" Percy cried, jumping up excitedly. "I have an idea!"

"Percy–"

But before Nico could finish his sentence, there was a roaring sound from behind them. All of them turned to see a massive wave coming towards them...

* * *

"This is your idea of waking somebody up?" A voice asked behind the guys.

"Oh, great," Ash said, turning around. "Sleeping Beauty's awake."

The others turned to see Jace standing easily, arms folded in front of his chest, frowning at the huge wave still advancing on them. He looked perfectly sober, and had no sign of eating spiked cookies.

"What's going on?" Peeta asked bewilderedly, pointing at Jace. "I thought you passed out? You ate the cookies."

"You guys are as easy to fool as five-year-olds!" Jace said with annoyance in his voice. "You should've come up with something more creative than spiked cookies, Vampire." This was directed at Ash.

Ash shrugged. "It worked on all my other enemies."

"...What?" Percy said, staring at Jace and Ash in disbelief.

"Percy, stop the wave now!" Nico shouted over the roaring of the almost twenty foot tall waves, grabbing Percy's arm.

"Ummm..." was all Percy managed to produce before the magnificent wave came crashing down on all of them.

* * *

_I am going to kill that good-for-nothing fish boy_, Ash thought as he tried to swim up to the surface.

The 'wake up' wave that Percy summoned had dragged them into and under the sea. The island was nowhere to be seen.

Ash swam faster until he broke to the surface. Gasping, he squinted against the bright sunshine and looked around.

"Yo! ASH!" Someone shouted from his right.

He turned to see Percy waving at him, grinning brightly.

"What in name of..." Ash blinked, trying to make sure that his mind wasn't affected by the sea water or anything. Apparently Percy was standing on a whale. A blue whale to be exact.

"Come on over!" Percy urged excitedly. "This is Tracy. She's Shelly's best friend!"

Ash gritted his teeth. It took all of him not to swear at Percy. He swam with superhuman speed to the whale and climbed up the rubbery (are whales rubbery?) skin. Percy thought his vampire friend was moving so fast because he was happy to see him, but then Percy got a good look at his eyes. At the moment, they were the colour of angry flames.

_Uh-oh_, thought Percy. _Quick, Tracy! Breathe out!_

Tracy exhaled through her spout just as Ash almost had his hands around Percy's neck. Ash was pushed up so high in the sky that he became just a dot to Percy.

"You're...uh, quite a breather, Tracy," Percy commented.

* * *

All Morgead remembered was seeing blue.

He was trying to swim toward somewhere dry when he saw the water fountain faraway, and something that vaguely looked like the shape of a person, which went up with the water. With hope, he swam forward – vampire speed.

"Vampires swim?" someone said behind him.

Morgead got annoyed. "Yes, and–" He stopped and stared.

It was Jace.

"You're not going to tell me you're some child of the God of the seas too, are you?" Morgead asked in disbelief.

He was...floating on the surface of the sea. Instead of replying, the Shadowhunter just sighed and reached out a hand to Morgead. "Come on; let's go kill the fish boy."

* * *

Nico cursed as he held on to a piece of wood.

"This is what you get for asking a Son of Poseidon to help..."

From a distance Nico could see something big, like an island or something... Wait, it can't be the island because it was shooting water from one end. Nico instantly knew that whatever that was, Percy had to have something to do with it.

Sighing, he started to paddle in that direction. He didn't get far before he felt something grab his leg.

Nico freaked (he wasn't supposed to be in water in the first place... Poseidon might do something bad to him) and he did the one thing he could: he kicked at whatever it was that was gripping his ankle.

"Get off me!" He kicked harder. The hold on his leg was loosening and finally his leg was free.

"That was close..." Nico sighed in relief but then something burst out of the water and grabbed on to the same piece of wood.

"Nico! Why'd you have to kick me so hard?"

Nico turned to see Peeta Mellark hanging on to the wood, rubbing his mouth where Nico's foot had hit him. "Just because I thought you were here to kill us all, doesn't mean you have to actually do it."

Nico stared at the blond boy, wondering if he was for real. "Are you for real?"

Peeta looked down at himself, patting his head and chest with one hand to see if he was 'for real'. "Yes, I think I'm for real." He looked up and saw a small figure on top of what looked like a blue-grey mound. He squinted. Before he could say anything though, there was great black shadow plummeting toward Peeta and Nico, and there was a mini tsunami as whatever it was hit the water.

After a few seconds, Ash Redfern resurfaced, hair clinging to his head and eyes blazing.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, JACKSON!"

* * *

**This chapter was written by LikeTheStars (formerly known as StarLover Cat), filmyfurry and wolfienur.**

**Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
I'm abysmal at poetry,  
So please just review.**


	10. Are You Normal?

**Hah! How's that for a speedy update? And a looong chapter, too.**

**Anyway, you guys have been wanting the ladies to show up on the island since _forever_. So. Because we're awesome and we listen to our readers, there is now a poll on our profile about the gals. Go and vote. :) **

* * *

**10. Are You Normal?**

Percy watched as Ash's figure sailed across the sky and landed somewhere in the waters. What time was it? He squinted, straining to see where Ash had landed. He was sure he saw pieces of floating debris. He hoped Ash wouldn't hit his head on one of them.

"You think he's going to be okay?" Percy leaned down and asked Tracy worriedly. "What? You think he said he's going to kill me?" Percy's eyes widened. "But no…he wouldn't...Thanks for your concern, Tracy, but I'll be fine."

_I'M GONNA KILL YOU, JACKSON!_ The voice sounded far away, but too close all the same.

"Maybe not," Percy said, cocking his head. "Come on, Tracy, let's go find Shelly."

"Going somewhere, Fish Boy?"

Percy froze.

"You don't get to unleash a massive wave to _wake me up_" Jace said the words sarcastically, "and then go riding on an overgrown dolphin to look for a stinkin' crab."

_Overgrown dolphin?_ thought Tracy, outraged. _Why, I never!_

"Well, look, now you've upset Tracy," groaned Percy. "You know how hard it is to calm a blue whale?"

"No, I do not, nor do I care!" Jace said, standing mere inches away from Percy.

Percy gasped. He quickly patted Tracy's head as if trying to cover her ears...If she had ears. "He didn't mean that, Tracy."

_I think he did_ Tracy replied, seething. _Shall I blast him as well?_

Percy looked at Jace who was taking out his stele. "No, I don't want Jace to kill me too."

_As you wish,_ Tracy said, still unhappy. _But I would like for him to do me one favor._

"A favor? Jace?" Percy whispered, making sure that Jace couldn't hear him. "What favor?"

_Well, he is quite good looking and I've been feeling so lonely lately, so - _

"I don't think I like where this is going," said Percy quickly, a little too loudly. Jace scowled at him, misunderstanding.

"Ya think? Finally caught on, have you?" Jace looked absolutely murderous. Below, Morgead was only just beginning to climb Tracy's flipper - he had gotten distracted by what he thought was a mermaid, but that's beside the point. When he finally reached the top, he placed a hand on Jace's shoulder.

"Calm down, Jace. You can't blame Percy for being...well, Percy."

"I sure as hell can!" Jace shoved Morgead's hand off his shoulder and took a step toward Percy when Ash climbed onto Tracy, followed shortly by Nico and Peeta.

"Hold it!" Ash yelled. "Fish Boy's MINE."

"Oh no," Jace growled, turning around to face Ash. "I got here first. He's _mine_." He enunciated each word clearly.

Ash stood breathlessly on the other side of Tracy, his hair still dripping wet, his eyes fixed on Percy with a lethal expression. Percy flinched and stepped back a little.

"Incorrect. I got here first. Isn't that right, Fish Boy?" Ash said in a dangerously low voice.

Peeta, Nico and Morgead looked back and forth between Ash and Jace. "Umm…" Nico said hesitantly, "Guys..." He glanced at Percy, who seemed to be murmuring something to the whale. "I don't think –"

"SHELLY!" Nico was interrupted by Percy's triumphant scream. "There you are! Tracy and I were just about to look for you!" he said, holding Shelly up. "Now we've found you, Tracy can go home now. Isn't that right, Tracy?"

_But you didn't tell the hot one about my favor yet,_ Tracy said unhappily.

"It's all right, Tracy. Don't you miss home?"

Tracy considered. _Okay. But don't forget to give him my number._

As Tracy began to dive down into the sea, Percy finally turned to look at the rest of the boys, "Look, I found –" He stopped abruptly as he and his five fellow islanders sank underwater.

* * *

A few hours later, Nico, Peeta, Jace, Ash, and Morgead stood dripping wet on the newly resurfaced sea shore of the island, each one of them ready to commit a first degree murder – except Peeta who was still busy trying to disentangle himself from the seaweed. They had all almost drowned, thanks to Percy telling Tracy to go home, leaving them with no solid ground to stand on.

Percy emerged from the sea seconds later, riding on what looked like a huge seahorse with a silvery fish body, glistening scales and rainbow-colored tail-fins. _Hippocampi, _Percy had called them. He had summoned six of them to give the boys (NO, MEN!) rides.

"Thanks, Patrick, I don't know what would've happened without you and your gang," he said, patting the Hippocampus on the head softly. "See you around!"

Percy faced his fellow islanders, who were all sopping wet and had bits of seashells and tiny fish in their hair. Percy, however, was perfectly dry, and not even a single hair was out of place. This annoyed the others so much they were almost falling over each other, seeing who could kill the son of Poseidon first.

Percy gulped, holding Shelly close to him. "What's up, guys?"

"_What's up, guys?_ That's all you can say?" Nico demanded. "After you almost drown us?"

"Umm... yes?" Percy answered.

"That's it!" Ash yelled, "We're going to teach you a lesson right here, right now!" He and the other four boys cracked their knuckles.

"Heh…heh," Percy laughed nervously, backing away from them. Shelly pinched his hand, "Ouch! Not you too..." Percy moaned. Shelly waved her claws around as if trying to tell Percy something.

"What's that? Oh right! How did we forget him? You're absolutely right," Percy mumbled to Shelly.

He faced the five who were dangerously closing in on him. "Before you guys rip my heart out, may I just ask where Jesse is?"

Jace, Ash, Morgead, Peeta and Nico all stopped uttering their various threats toward Percy and stared blankly around them, noticing for the first time the absence of the Spanish cowboy's reassuring presence.

"Jesse?" Morgead called, peering into the sea as if Jesse were hiding there.

"Percy..." gasped Peeta, "You...you killed Jesse..."

"W-what? No I didn't!" Percy stammered, his face paling. "He's just hiding...Jesse? JESSE!"

"Baker Boy's right," said Ash, for once not looking bored or skeptical. "Cowboys can't swim. Your wave killed him."

Morgead's eyes widened. "Noooooooooo! Jesse! He was one of the normal ones!"

"Normal ones?" Peeta said, stupefied. "But we're normal!" He turned to Jace, who wasn't paying much attention to Jesse's disappearance, but wondering how in all possible Dimensions the island had survived the humongous wave.

"Are you normal?" Peeta asked tentatively.

"Of course I'm not normal," Jace said. "I'm amazing."

"Do you have to do that?" Ash said, looking serious with his icy gray eyes. "Can't you see how serious this is? Percy killed Cowboy Dude."

"I didn't!" Percy shouted. "I swear I didn't!"

Morgead wasn't convinced. "You killed Jesse! You're trying to crush the Normals with your insanity!"

Percy looked shell-shocked. "But I...I…" he stammered.

"There, there," Nico said. Not knowing what to do, he settled with attempting to give Percy a friendly pat on the back.

Percy jumped.

"Nooo! Don't touch me!" Percy yelled, running away from Nico. "Your touch burns!"

Nico looked at his hand then back at Percy again. "Okay...definitely insane."

Peeta was still unconvinced. "We're normal! I'm normal; you're normal, we're all normal!"

Jace shook his head. "I already told you I'm not. I'm extraordinary."

Percy tried again, "Look, I didn't kill Jesse okay? Nico, you can feel if people are dead or not right?"

Nico nodded. "I can feel their aura and if they are in the Underworld or not."

"Then check for Jesse's aura."

Nico closed his eyes.

"Well?" Ash demanded after a solid minute. "Have you sensed a disturbance in the Force?" Nico didn't respond, but held out a finger, gesturing for everybody to be quiet.

"I am normal," Peeta mumbled to himself. "I am normal! We're all normal. Nobody can't not be normal, or else it wouldn't be normal because we're normal –"

"Shut up," Jace said, smacking the other boy's head.

"Are you normal?"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm amazing. I was born amazing."

"But…you're not normal?"

"Nope. I'm better than normal."

"You're not normal?"

"Oh, for the Angel's sake –"

"Am I normal then?"

"No, you're not," Ash, who had been assiduously trying to ignore both of them, interrupted. "You're insane. There, are you happy?"

"I'm not normal?" Peeta cried, raising his voice an octave higher. "I'm not normal?"

"Shouldn't have done that, bro," Jace told Ash.

"All of you shut the hell up!" Morgead shouted. He and Percy seemed to be the only ones who were genuinely worried about Jesse's disappearance and were staring at Nico intently the whole time.

Nico opened his eyes.

"I've got something." He announced ceremoniously… And then he proceeded to rub his eye.

"Well?" Percy and Morgead demanded.

"What?" said Nico, still rubbing his eye.

"You said you got something!" Morgead all but screamed. He couldn't lose Jesse...not Jesse...nice and normal Jesse...completely sane Jesse...

"Oh yeah," said Nico. "I got something, all right. An eyelash stuck in my friggin' eye."

Morgead almost slapped him.

* * *

"This is getting hopeless," Morgead said, still angry at Nico. "And Dead Boy here isn't helping one bit!"

"What?" Nico said defensively. "My eye was itchin' okay? And I can't work my powers when my eye is itchin'!"

Percy finally lost it, "Jesse's life is at stake here! So shut up and find him already or I'll... I'll... poke your eye!"

Nico's jaw dropped. It was as if Percy had threatened to shave Nico's hair off, bake it into a cake and force-feed it to him.

"What?" he asked, not very calmly.

"Find Jesse or I'll poke your eye!" Percy repeated with more conviction.

"You...You can't do that," Nico said, stepping back and covering his eyes.

"Then find Jesse!" Percy shouted, though his voice was trembling and so were his hands. "Prove that he's not dead!" Morgead was standing behind Percy, nodding vigorously.

"This is getting ridiculous," Ash commented.

"So I've noticed," muttered Jace, eyeing Peeta, who was still trying to convince himself that "Everyone is normal."

"Are you going to find Jesse or not?" Percy demanded of Nico.

Peeta stopped mumbling and said brightly, "Oh hey...look, guys, it's Jesse!"

* * *

"WHERE?" Percy and Morgead spun around to look where Peeta was pointing.

Jesse stood there, dripping in seawater. His sleek black hair was plastered to his head, so he ran his tanned fingers through it. Somewhere in the safety of their rooms, the girls writing this story let out a collective sigh of longing. "Well, it's nice to see you all alive and well," Jesse said, while taking off a boot and turning it upside down, tipping out the water.

"JESSE!" Percy ran over to him and gave him a bear-crushing hug. "I knew you were alive! I knew it!"

Jesse patted Percy's back, stunned, but confident enough in his sexuality to hug Percy back. "No worries, my friend. No harm was done to me." Percy released him and turned to the others, "See! I told you that I didn't kill him."

Morgead, who didn't want to embarrass himself, shook Jesse's hand and gave him a manly pat on the back. "Welcome back, dude."

"Jesse!" Peeta shouted with delight. "You're normal!" He pushed Morgead aside and hugged the Spaniard as well.

"Yes, I'm…normal," Jesse agreed, pretending to understand what sort of bizarre terminology the Baker had come up with.

"Good to see you, Cowboy," Ash said with a brief nod towards Jesse's direction.

"Where have you been?" Jace questioned.

"Can't you see? Jesse escaped from the claws of death and came back to us…because he's a manly dude," Percy explained, gesturing with his arms. "OW! Okay! And you too, Shelly! The bravest crab alive..."

"O-kay," Jesse said, "Actually, it was nothing; I hid in my Cowboy pocket when the wave hit."

Peeta's eyes widened. "How did you do that?"

"A magician never reveals his tricks," Jesse smiled. "I'm sure you can understand that."

Peeta nodded, fascinated with Jesse's words. "You are so normal."

Jace had to clench his fists to stop himself punching the baker.

"Oh, Peeta, before I forget," said Jesse, still smiling, "Look what I found while I was in my pocket." The cowboy reached elbow-deep into his pockets (nobody commented on this) and pulled out...a white apron.

"HOLY #$%&$ $#%&!" All six men jumped out of their skins at Peeta's impressive display of 'sailor language'. Jace looked like he couldn't be prouder of Peeta, whom he had assumed was a hopeless case. Peeta took no notice of his friends' incredulous faces as he hugged his precious apron tightly to his chest and murmured, "Ohhh, Apron, never leave me again."

"This is a beautiful moment," Percy whispered. Shelly agreed, covering her eyes with her claws so that none of the guys could see her crabby tears.

"Uh..." Nico said, "Okay." He looked around, noticing for the first time...

"Guys," he said, "where's Morgead?"

Before anyone could reply, Morgead appeared from behind a tree, seeming to zip up his fly. He stopped mid-step when he noticed all eyes on him.

"What?" he snapped, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Nico, Ash, Jace, Peeta, Percy and Jesse quickly turned away, and Percy said, just a little too loudly, "NICE WEATHER, EH?"

* * *

**Aw, poor Morgy. Vampires need to do their business too...um, I think. **

**Review if you're human!**

**This chapter was written by...bah, you already know.**


	11. The Fight,The Frenaissance, and The Duel

**MWAH for everyone who's been sticking to this "story**" **and those who reviewed. :]**

**If you like _Friends, _you'll probably enjoy this chapter for the references and two of our guys being Friends fans. :P Minor spoilers for those who haven't read CoG or CoFA from the Mortal Instruments.**

* * *

**11. The Fight, The Frenaissance and The Duel**

Nico slapped Percy on the head, "Way to ruin the moment, Perce."

Percy rubbed his head, looking confused (as usual). "What moment?"

"Morgead's moment of awkwardness and embarrassment," Ash said. "I just wish that I had a camera. That was a priceless moment."

Jace gave them an iniquitous smile. "Oh, I have something even better."

"Yeah? And what's that?" Ash asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jace answered with a self-satisfied smile, "My memory. See? I'm replaying it over and over in my head right now."

Morgead's face turned brightest red and he made as if to charge at Jace, but Jesse held him back.

"Just ignore him, Morgead. The fact that he's imagining you and your zipper, what do you think that says about him?"

"HEY!" yelled Jace. It was his turn to go crimson. Morgead let out a bark of laughter, thanking the Big Guy that Jesse was not dead.

"Jesse! I thought you were on my side," Jace protested, "not his!"

"Oh yeah?" Morgead crossed his arms. "Who said so?"

"I said so!" Jace said. "You know, because I'm amazing and all."

"That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, get over it, Vampire Boy!"

As a last resort, Morgead turned to Jesse. "Jesse! Jace is being mean to me."

Jesse blinked. "Now, Jace-"

"No, stop right there!" Jace shouted. He jabbed a finger at Morgead. "He got his chance, we're equal now!"

"He just told me life isn't fair!" Morgead told Jesse.

"That's because life _isn't_ fair!"

"But it is!"

"It's not!"

"Now look-" Jesse said, trying to stand between the two boys. "We all have different opinions."

"No, no, no, no, no," Jace cut Jesse off. "He," he pointed at Morgead, "got a happy ending with his soulmate, while I," he pointed at himself, "died, came back alive, and will have to suffer with the evil inside me for two more books, then I'll hate myself for the rest of my life." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Now YOU tell me life is fair."

"Oh yeah? Well I...I..I...Jesse, you're suppose to help me!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Percy and Shelly, Peeta and his Apron sat on the beach, watching Jesse's futile attempt to mediate (haha, Mediator) the fight between Jace and Morgead.

"Popcorn?" Percy offered.

"Where did you get popcorn?" Peeta asked wonderingly.

Percy shrugged. "I found it in Jesse's Cowboy pocket."

"God, I love Jesse's cowboy pockets," sighed Peeta, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoveling it into his mouth. It had been a long day...a long, long, long day, and none of the islanders had had anything to eat (unless you counted spiked cookies), or drink (unless you counted seawater) and had not had a wink of sleep. Percy and Peeta watched as Jace and Morgead wrestled each other into the sandy ground. Jesse was now so distressed that he was yelling at the two boys in Spanish.

As the baker and the Fish Boy laughed at the spectacle, Nico di Angelo came up to them, an odd look on his face. "Are you guys, like, on a double date?" he asked, gesturing to Shelly and the Apron.

"What? No!" Percy and Peeta sprang apart. "We were just having a... frenaissance," Percy said.

"What in the Hades is a 'frenaissance'?" Nico asked, raising an eyebrow.

Percy looked at him in shock. "You don't know what a frenaissance is? Oh my gods, Nico. Where have you been?"

Peeta also looked confused. Percy noticed that and said, "Not you too, Peeta!"

"A frenaissance is when friends hang out together to renew their friendship! Like Joey and Pheobe from Friends_._"

Nico and Peeta stared at him blankly.

"Please tell me that you've watched Friends_,_" Percy asked desperately, searching for some recognition to the word Friends on both of their faces.

The two boys shook their heads. Percy was speechless.

Ash, who was idling around the palm trees, walked by casually at the mention of Friends.

"You watch Friends?" he asked, his expression unreadable.

"Yes!" Percy said proudly. "I have the box set! I watched every single episode of it twice!" He threw a disdainful sideways glance at Peeta and Nico and gratefully at Ash, glad that at least _someone_ knew Friends.

Nico nodded comprehensibly to himself, though he still has no idea what the hell Friends was. Peeta just decided to drop the Friends conundrum and started murmuring to his Apron.

Ash shook his head at Percy's response.

"Just twice? I watched it _three _times," Ash said, smugly.

"Well, watching it three times doesn't mean you know _everything _about it," Percy shot back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

"How about we have a Friends duel?" Ash proposed. "I will say a quote and you have to say which episode and season it's from, then you say a quote. How does that sound?"

Percy cracked his knuckles. "Bring it on!"

Percy and Ash stood back-to-back solemnly, cocking the thumbs on their right hands and sticking out their pointer fingers to make guns.

"To the death, Perseus Jackson."

"To the death, Ash Redfern."

"Wow, okay," Nico said, staring at the two boys. He looked at the other side, where Jace and Morgead were combating with each other on the sand, with Jesse yelling loudly in Spanish, still trying to quell the fight.

"Count off!" Percy shouted, then they both walked away from each other, counting paces.

Nico looked back at Ash and Percy, now standing ten paces away facing each other, each holding their hand guns with a stoic expression. Now he realized what took the boys so long to get off the island, if they were ever going to. Oh well. Might as well enjoy yourself. He sat down next to Peeta.

"Peeta, popcorn?"

"Draw!" Ash shouted.

"Take all you want," Peeta offered. "Fire!" He yelled for Ash and Percy.

"'_How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?_'" Ash went first.

"Season two, episode nineteen, _The One Where Eddie Won't Go._" Percy answered right after Ash finished the sentence. "From Rachel to Ross. Now it's my turn."

Peeta and Nico clapped and cheered. In the sand in front of them, Nico had written "Team Percy". Peeta was arranging pieces of popcorn to spell out the words "Fish Boy FTW".

Ash eyed them, and his gaze stayed there when he saw what Peeta and Nico had written.

"Stop!" Ash yelled just as Percy was beginning his quote. "Time out!" He rushed towards the audience and pointed at the words in the sand.

"That's not fair!" complained Ash, who had no one on his side.

"Sorry, bro," shrugged Nico, "but he's from my fandom."

"Fine," Ash accepted, "but what's your excuse?" he growled, glaring at Peeta. The baker shrugged.

"We just had a frenaissance. Can't betray a bro right after a frenaissance."

* * *

A few feet away, Jesse had given up trying to separate Morgead and Jace. Partly because his voice had given out after yelling so loudly in Spanish, partly because he had noticed a figure in the distance...the unmistakable figure of...a girl.

"_Dios_," he murmured, his eyes trained on the figure, which seemed to be unconscious. "Morgead. Jace."

But they weren't listening. Jace was too busy trying to pour sand into Morgead ears while Morgead was grabbing fistfuls of Jace's hair and trying to pull the other boy away from him.

"Get OFF me, you testical!"

"I am NOT. A. TESTICAL! Eat sand, vampire!"

"HEY, _LOCOS_! THERE'S A GIRL HERE!"

That caught their attention.

* * *

**How's that for an ending? ;P**

**Reviews are great. We love reviews. Thanks to all the reviewed, the reviewing, and the reviews.**

**This chapter is written by _wolfienur_, _filmyfurry_ and _LikeTheStars._**

* * *

**EDIT: Here are a couple of reviews that made us...happier than usual...**

**pjoftw111: "I was laughing so hard that my mom asked if i was okay and what i was laughing at, i couldn't speak so i just pointed to the computer screen LOVE YOU GUYS!"**

**SaphireThunder: "Yay! I stayed up till way to late to read this story because IT IS MY FAVOURITE story EVER!"**

**D'aww, we love you guys. :3**


	12. The Girl and The Touching

**Another chapter! Whee! :D As you know, there will be another person on this island now! Technically, the title should now be 'One Island, Seven Boys and One Girl' :P **

**Those of you who are PJO fans, you should already know this but The Son of Neptune cover and sneak peek of chapter one is now avaliable! It's on the official Heroes of Olympus website so check it out!  
It's FREAKING AWESOME!  
**

**Mortal Instruments fan: The cover of Clockwork Prince is released as well! Although, this is not how I imagine Jem to look like, it is still cool XP Sneak Peeks are avaliable as well so check Cassandra Clare's blog! **

**Anyway, we hope you guys enjoy this chapter!  
**

**Warning: There would be touching of two body parts that might send chills down your spine XP**

* * *

**12. The Girl and the Touching**

"A GIRL?" Morgead yelled, pushing Jace away from him. "How is that possible?"

"Don't ask me," Jesse replied. "I'm just the messenger."

"From here it looks like her hair is burning," Jace said, narrowing his eyes.

"No, you fool! Her hair is red!" Jesse scolded. "Get your eyes checked, _amigo_."

Morgead stood there speechless, staring at the girl. Jace nudged him. "Dude, Morgead -" Jace didn't get to finish his sentence because Morgead took off running.

"Jezebel!"

"Jezebel?" Jace asked, perplexed. _No, it's got to be Clary, it's GOT to be_, he thought desperately. He followed the vampire toward the limp red-headed figure. Morgead had dropped to his knees next to the girl, letting out a sound half joyous, half concerned. Jace finally saw the girl's face and felt his heart twist in agony. It was not Clary.

"Jez! Jez...Jezebel," Morgead murmured over and over.

The girl's eyes fluttered and she opened them. When she spoke, it was a whisper. "What?" said Morgead, leaning closer to the girl to hear her better.

"Don't call me Jezebel…idiot," she muttered, though her lips curled into a smile at the sight of him. Morgead was so relieved he started laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" she mumbled, sitting up.

"It's just... I can't believe that you're actually here," Morgead said, taking her hand in his. "I thought that I would never see you again."

Jez's eyes softened. "Morgead," she whispered softly, but he continued to speak. "I almost lost you once and I don't think I could handle it if it happened again."

He leaned in and was about to touch his lips to hers when someone yelled, "OH MY GODS, MORGEAD IS ABOUT TO KISS A GIRL!"

Jez and Morgead sprang apart, surprised.

"EVERYBODY, MORGEAD IS ABOUT TO KISS A GIRL!" Percy shouted again, waving his arms, afraid that anyone would miss him.

"Dude, what the hell?" Morgead said, irritated.

Jez stared at Percy as if he were from another planet. She raised an eyebrow, and turned to Morgead, her expression questioning.

"THERE'S A GIRL ON THE ISLAND!" shouted Peeta behind Percy.

Jace was unusually silent, seemingly unconcerned with everything going on around him.

Ash was watching all of this with amusement. "Welcome, cousin," he said, winking at Jez.

Morgead sighed. "Here it comes,"

"Ash? ASH? What the hell is Ash doing here?" Jez asked Morgead though her gaze was fixed on her cousin.

"I don't know!" said Morgead defensively. "I don't even know why or how _I'm_ here!"

Ash smirked, "You don't look happy to see me, Jezebel...I'm stung."

Before Jez could give her angry retort, Percy breathed, "It's been so long since I've seen a real live girl - OW! Other than you, Shelly," he added when Shelly pinched him.

Jesse raised an eyebrow. "Percy, it has only been two days."

Jez gave Jesse a confused look. "Two days? What are you talking about? Morgead has been missing for over two weeks."

* * *

"Over two weeks?" gasped Peeta.

"Over two weeks?" gaped Percy.

"Over two weeks?" demanded Jace.

"Over two weeks?" asked Jesse.

"Over two weeks?" Ash said skeptically.

"Over -"

"YES, GODDAMMIT, OVER TWO WEEKS!"

That shut the boys up. Silence .

"Over two weeks?" Nico said. Jez glared at him. "What?" he defended himself, "I didn't get a chance to say it!"

"Two weeks?" Morgead repeated. Then explained, "I didn't finish mine last time."

"So is this like, Narnia?" asked Percy. "But I don't have an old closet in my room!"

Jace threw him an annoyed glance. "Shut up."

"I really don't! Am I in Narnia?" he shook Peeta. "We gotta go find Aslan!"

"You're not normal," muttered Peeta.

* * *

"Morgead! What's going on?" Jez asked, moving to stand next to Morgead. "And who are these... people?"

"I promise I'll tell you everything later but right now I have to do something first."

Jez was about to protest but Morgead was already on the move. He snuck up behind Percy who was still shaking Peeta and touched his right earlobe.

"AHHHH!" Percy shrieked, jumping about 3 feet into the air, away from Morgead, and clutching his right ear lobe as if the vampire's touch had scorched it. "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT?"

Peeta stared open-mouthed at Percy who was now writhing on the floor and slapping his ear, as if hoping to shake off the unnatural feeling of another man touching such a sensitive area. Percy was screaming so loud, all the birds in the jungle flew away, "MY EAR LOBE! HE FREAKING TOUCHED MY EAR LOBE!"

Peeta glared at Morgead in disgust. "Why..." he seemed to be too repulsed for words. "Just...why would you do that?"

Morgead shrugged. "He's not normal. You said so."

"But...that doesn't mean you can do that to him!" Peeta said, looking both horrified and appalled. "Look how much pain you put him through!" He pointed at the Percy In Pain, who was still screaming, "MY EARLOBE!"

Morgead growled menacingly, "Do you want that too?"

"NO!" Peeta screamed. "NO! ATP! ATP!" He threw himself on the ground, as far as he could from Morgead, and covered his ears with both of his hands, curling into a ball.

"ATP?" Nico questioned.

"Assume The Position!" Percy and Peeta shouted simultaneously, both rolling around in the sand.

Jez raised an eyebrow. "I see."

Jesse, who was standing next to Morgead, took a step away and put a hand up to his ears without really meaning to.

Percy and Peeta had finally stopped screaming, though Percy still looked traumatized. He was shaking. Peeta adopted a low, soothing tone (Jace thought he would almost collapse from the shock. _Peeta_ soothing _anyone_? Whoa.) and patted Percy on the back, murmuring things like, "It's okay" and "Nobody off this island has to know..." and "As long as you Assume The Position, your ear lobe will not be molested again".

Morgead turned to look at Jez, who was staring at Peeta and Percy like she'd never seen anything like them. Which she hadn't, of course. Morgead sighed, took her arm and led her to a quieter part of the island, away from the baker and the Fish Boy.

Jace went up to the shaking Percy and said, "Don't worry, Fish Boy. I'll get him back for you."

"There should be a law that says you cannot touch people's earlobe! It's wrong!" Peeta protested.

"Very, very wrong." Ash added from a few feet behind them. "But so hilarious!"

Jace ignored Ash. He kept a straight face and told Percy, "It's all right, Percy, maybe we could tell Zeus to add that law. We could have a round table meeting with him, tell him about your earlobe incidences. I'm sure he'll listen."

"Yes, that'll work." Percy nodded seriously, completely missing Jace's sarcasm. He helped the baker boy, who was nodding in agreement with Percy, to get to his feet. "I'll call him."

Ash started laughing uncontrollably behind Jace. Jace resisted the urge to laugh with him, but he kept a straight face.

"Hey," Nico defended for Percy and Peeta. "Don't be mean."

"But I'm not being mean," Jace said innocently, a brilliant smile on his face. "I really mean it."

"Shut the front door," Ash said at last, digressing the conversation, "I'm going for a walk."

"Wait...What?" Percy said, standing in front of Ash. "But you have to be there for the meeting with Uncle Zeusy!"

"Where are you going?" Jesse asked.

Ash ignored Percy but answered Jesse. "Stalking the lovebirds," he said flippantly. "I just saw them over th-AHHHHH!" He screamed, causing everyone to jump. It would've made birds fly away from the jungle if they haven't already escaped from Percy's screams. Ash was holding his shin up and hopping around on one leg. "JEZEBEL REDFERN!" he shouted in rage.

* * *

**It's very freaky when people touch your earlobe and shin okay? It's just wrong...  
**

**Anyway, thank you to those of you who reviewed! We love you! :P So don't forget to review again! It would make us _really_ happy :D**

**This chapter was written by _wolfienur_, _filmyfurry_ and _LikeTheStars._**

**_- And may the Force be with you. _(Couldn't resist :P)_  
_**


	13. Jace Can Write

**I am in awe. 77 reviews? You guys are truly amazing; we're so glad ya'll like the stuff that spew out of our brains. xD **

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to their respective owners, we just own the island they're stuck on.**

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**13. Jace Can Write**

"Yup, still works," Jez said, grinning, holding a stick that she had just used to poke the back of Ash's knee.

"Why would you do this!" Ash yelled. "Why?"

"What did she do exactly?" Jace asked. "All I saw was you jumping up and screaming like a girl, I must have missed the action bit."

"She. Poked. My. KNEE!" Ash gritted out each word. "The back of my knee!"

"The back of your knee?" Nico repeated.

"YES! The back of my knee!" If Ash weren't feeling freaked out right then, he would have punched Nico.

"And you screamed like a little girl because...?" Jace raised his eyebrow.

"It's a sensitive spot, okay? Very sensitive. Like Percy's ear lobes."

"As much I enjoy seeing all your...peculiarities," Jace said smiling, "I would like to ask one thing." He grabbed Peeta, who was standing nearest to him, and shook him. "DON'T ANY OF YOU EAT?"

"Why do we need to eat when we can...PARTY?" Nico screamed, throwing confetti everywhere.

"How can we have a party when we have nothing to eat?" Jace said angrily.

"We can get drunk by drinking sea water!" Nico replied earnestly. The boys and Jez stared at him.

"I'll show you then." Nico walked towards the sea.

"No, NO!" Percy screamed and grabbed Nico's shoulders and shook him, "Snap out of it, Nico!"

Nico pushed Percy away. "Chill out, man. I'm just trying to prove my point. It's harmless."

"But... But... You can't get drunk by drinking sea water! You'll DIE," Percy protested.

Nico ignored him and was about to continue his walk to the sea when Jesse called his name, "Nico wait!"

Jace slapped Percy on the back. "Don't worry, Fish Boy. Jesse will talk sense into Nico. He is the normal one after all."

Nico who really, really want to get the party started, turned impatiently to Jesse. "What now?"

Jesse held up his fist, "Did you forget that you are my MAN-friend? We're supposed to do these things together!"

Nico stared at Jesse, baffled. "Man-friend?"

"Yeah, man-friend! Like we do manly stuff together and do fist bumps and be awesome together and all that."

"Man-friend?"

"Man-friend!"

"PEOPLE, I HAVE A MAN-FRIEND NOW! WE'RE GONNA PART-AY!" he shouted. Everyone stared at the hyperactive man-couple Jesse and Nico, arm in arm. (The birds were smart enough by now to not ever land on that island again.)

"Is that normal?" Percy asked, awed at Nico's behaviour.

Jace stared. "Sure..." he muttered.

"It's normal," Peeta nodded somewhere behind Jace. Jace rolled his eyes.

"Okay, before we get started on the man-friend and parties," Jez said impatiently, stepping in front of everyone's view of Jesse and Nico, "anyone care to tell me who the crap you guys are?"

Percy and Peeta looked at each other, communicating with their eyes,

_You say it. _

_No, you say it._

_Why me? _

_Because you're awesome? _

Percy sighed, "Fine, you win." Peeta grinned.

Percy cleared his throat, "_Bonjour, madame, je m'appelle _Perseus Jackson. Or you can call me by my French name... _Pierre_..."

"Dude, why are you suddenly French?" Ash said, puzzled.

Percy looked at him weirdly. "Why can't I be French?"

Jace sighed. "Ignore this French Fish Boy." He pushed Percy back, and stepped in front of Jez. "I'm Jace; the most attractive man on this island."

Jez raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked skeptically. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Jace's jaw dropped. It looked like it could have dropped to the Underworld and on to Hades's head. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'I wouldn't be so sure about that'," Jez said, shrugging.

Jace's stare of disbelief turned into an icy glare. "You're going to regret this. You're not going to get a signed copy of my new book."

"...You write books?"

"Is everyone here deaf? Yes, I write books!" Jace said, annoyed.

"Since when?" Peeta asked, crossing his arms.

"Since forever, I'm not stupid you know," Jace rolled his eyes. "It's like, a New York Times #1 bestseller."

"Well, what's it called?" Jesse asked curiously. Behind him, Jez was caressing Morgead's cheek, assuring him that he was the hottest guy on the island.

"It is called..." Jace began dramatically, "'How I Live Now'."

"Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait," said Nico, "I - I mean, my sister read 'How I Live Now'. It was horrible! I - I mean SHE couldn't even finish it...How the hell could that be a best-seller?"

Jace just smirked. "You see, my demographic is 98% women. They buy my book for my steaming hot author's picture at the back."

"98%?" said Peeta. "Who's the other 2%?"

"Nico."

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**IMPORTANT**

**'Kay, listen up, you awesome, awesome people: If this story hits 100 reviews by the time we post Chapter 15, we shall be the happiest freakin' frackin' people on Earth. This happiness shall prompt us to  
a) be sillier, therefore funnier  
b) write more (especially since our exams end this week. YES!)  
and most importantly  
c) offer you guys a small reward for being so supportive of us and this story :D**

**The most number of reviews we've gotten for a chapter is 13, so we know you guys can do it! Tell your friends! Tell your siblings! Heck, tell your parents if you have to!**

**Actually...no. Don't tell your parents. O.o**

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**This chapter was written by _Royniha_ (making her debut!), _LikeTheStars, filmyfurry_ and _wolfienur_**


	14. Abnormal Breakup

**An Obvious Statement (a.k.a. Disclaimer): None of these amazing characters belong to us. And Meg Rosoff does indeed own How I Live Now.**

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**14. Abnormal Breakup**

Nico turned bright red. "Who...who told you that?"

Jace shrugged. "One of my fans did."

"But the only people who knew this are Bianca and..." He turned to Percy, his eyes widening, "You."

"I didn't tell him, I swear!" shouted Percy. "I only told Shelly and Tracy..."

Nico turned a shade redder. His voice was low, "You told my deepest darkest secret to a couple of SEA CREATURES?"

Percy yelped and hid behind Peeta.

"But I trust Shelly and Tracy! They're not just ordinary sea creatures!" Percy yelled behind Peeta, using him as a shield.

"I DON'T CARE!" Nico shouted, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYBODY!" Peeta flinched. Percy grabbed Peeta's arms in futile attempt to hide himself from Nico's rage.

"This isn't normal!" Peeta shouted and shrugged out of Percy's grip. "Get away from me!"

Percy looked hurt. "But... I thought we're buddies now."

"And why would you think that?" Peeta asked, slowly backing away from Percy.

"We just had a bromance moment a few minutes ago. The Frenaissance!"

"Hey!" Nico yelled, "Don't change the subject! I'm not done here!"

"You're not acting normal!" Peeta told Percy, "I only talk to the Normals. And Apron."

"But I am normal! I-" Percy argued.

"I'm not done here!" Nico interrupted.

"Look, Nico, I'm sorry! But you have to understand that Shelly is special-"

"I don't care!"

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to act normal!"

"No, I'm not asking _you_-"

"EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!"

Nico, Percy and Peeta turned to stare at Jace.

"WHAT?" they yelled in unison.

"Shut up!" Jace yelled, "I'm trying to talk to Penelope here."

"...Penelope?"

"Yeah, my imaginary friend, Penelope."

"An imaginary friend? Seriously?" Jez scoffed.

Jace looked horrified. "No, Penelope. She didn't mean it!"

He looked at Jez, "Penelope's angry now. You made her angry! Take what you said back!"

Jez looked incredulous. Jace raised his eyebrows in a 'Well? Apologize!' kind of way.

"I am not apologizing to anyone that came out of that warped brain of yours," Jez spat. Morgead knew that he should back his soulmate up, but he was starting to learn - better than anyone - that you did not win a fight with a hungry Shadowhunter. That's why he slowly backed away, unwittingly stepping into the middle of another argument.

"I can't BELIEVE you! If Annabeth could see you now-"

Percy cut Nico off. "DON'T bring Annabeth into this! It's not her fault you read a book by Jace Wayland!"

"I didn't know it was him! His pen name was Meg Rosoff for gods' sake! What normal guy calls himself MEG ROSOFF?"

"None!" yelled Peeta. "No normal guy would! Jace isn't normal, and you-" he turned to Percy "are certainly not normal!"

"But - Peeta," Percy said quietly, "I thought we were bros. I even came up with a name for us." Percy grabbed Jesse (who had basically been ignored 'til now) into the group and plunged an arm into one of his pockets. When his arm returned from the journey into the pocket, it was holding a light blue T-shirt. On it, was a picture of a loaf of bread making a cross with a trident, with the word 'PERTA' written in block letters underneath.

"Percy, that's...amazing," Peeta said sincerely, "but I cannot ignore the fact that you're...not normal."

"Please, Peeta, I can change!"

"No," Peeta lowered his head. It seemed something had gotten into his eye and he was wiping it away. "I think we should go on a break."

"Oh, man," sniffed Ash, a lump forming in his throat. "This is like Ross and Rachel all over again."

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**This chapter was written by _LikeTheStars, filmyfurry, wolfienur._**

**Thought we made this clear right from the first chapter: most of the characters in this crackfic are OOC. That's why it's called a crackfic. If you're looking for a story with depth and meaning and impeccable characterization, this is _so_ not the place for you.**

**This place is for those of us who just want a laugh. =]**


	15. Death of an Islander

**I think I might cry. Because of you frickin frackin amazing readers, we just FLEW by that 100-review mark, so thank you! Soo much. We love you guys! Surprise/reward is at the bottom. :3**

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**15. Death of an Islander**

Jesse gave Ash a hug. "There, there. It's alright. Jesse's here."

"But... but... It's Perta! It was meant to be and now they're just going to..." Ash couldn't finish the sentence. He lowered his head and pulled out a 'Perta' shirt of his own. A moment later, Ash looked up from the shirt with determination in his eyes.

"I refuse to let it happen! I'm going to fix it!" He put on the 'Perta' shirt and stomped towards Percy and Peeta. Jesse shrugged, reached into his pocket for another Perta shirt, and put it on.

Ash caught up with Peeta, who had begun to walk away, and grabbed him by his apron. "Listen, Mallard–"

"It's Mellark."

"Whatever! You and Percy can't go on a break. Stupid things happen when people go on breaks!"

"Like?" Peeta asked, skeptical.

"Like...dude! Have you never watched Friends?"

Peeta shook his head. Ash gaped, uncharacteristically lost for words.

"Here, let me," said Jesse, taking Peeta by the shoulder and pushing Ash toward Percy, who was now lying on his back in the sand with the Perta shirt covering his face. "You talk to Percy."

Ash rushed towards Percy. "You can't take a break, Percy. YOU WATCH FRIENDS. Don't you remember what happened to Ross and Rachel?"

"But I can't be what he wants me to be..." Percy muttered from under the shirt.

"PERTA!" Ash yelled, "You guys are PERTA. You don't want to let your shippers down, do you?"

"Shippers?" Percy asked, lifting a corner of the shirt to peek at Ash.

"They want you and Peeta to be together! Bromantically!" Ash gestured at his own Perta shirt. "Let me give you an example: Penelope ships Perta." Ash said, "You're going to ruin her life if you and Peeta take a break. Bad things happen on breaks. Very bad. Angry drunk Shadowhunters are going to look like nothing." He continued breathlessly, "Penelope would be heart broken. Now why would you do that to her? Huh? Why? WHY?"

Meanwhile Jace, after having a heated argument with Jez, walked away from her while she was yelling at Morgead. "You were supposed to have my back! What kind of soulmate are you?"

The best-selling Shadowhunter author approached Nico, who was still upset at Percy for spreading his secret.

"So," He said, "Are you JaceWaylandLove332 or IHeartJaceForever on the Jace Wayland forum?"

"Neither!" growled Nico.

"Ah, so you must be DeathLovesJace," the Shadowhunter smirked. "I've gotta admit, that one freaked me out a bit."

"I'm not DeathLovesJace! I don't even go on your forum. I didn't even know you wrote the book, all right? My sister stole the book jacket with your picture on it." Nico stalked off, but Jace wouldn't let this go. He followed the son of Hades.

"That's fine, you have the real thing to look at, anyway. Hey!" shouted Jace when Nico started walking faster. "Before this we had nothing in common; now you can fanboy about my book! It's win-win!"

Nico glared at Jace. The truth was, he had finished the blond boy's book, and it was amazing, and he really did need to fanboy with someone. Someone who was alive. The tortured souls in the Underworld were great listeners, but the closest they came to having a reaction was, "Unnnhhhh!"

"Don't resist the urge, Nico," Jace said in a sing-song voice. "Don't resist..."

Nico did the only thing he could think of that at moment. "JESSE! HELP ME!" he yelled, quickly running towards the cowboy. "I'm being harrassed by Jace!"

Jesse did a face palm. "Who isn't, these days? Be right back, Peeta," he told the baker before going to mediate whatever the hell it was Jace was doing to Nico.

"You can't do this." Nico warned the Shadowhunter. "I know your secret."

"You subscribe to my mailing list too, don't you?" Jace inquired, smiling widely.

"I know...that...you're afraid of librarians," Nico said darkly.

Jace gasped. "HOW DARE YOU?"

"If you keep harrassing me, I'll let the world know that," Nico said with more confidence. "JACE WAYLAND IS AFRAID OF LI-"

"SHUT UP! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Nico smirked. "Make me."

Jesse decided he didn't want to mediate this fight anymore. He walked away, realizing that Peeta had disappeared. "_Dios_!" he said, "Where'd he go? I still have to help him and Percy..."

"YOU POOL-DRAINER!" Jace shouted, unable to contain his panicked rage.

Nico spluttered for a moment before coming up with, "GRASS-POLISHER!"

"What? What does that even mean?"

"I don't know! What does 'pool-drainer' mean?"

"Look it up!"

Nico took deep breaths before yelling at Jace again. "I have three words for you Shadowhunter: Die! Die! Die!"

Jace raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, while Percy gasped and flung the shirt off his face.

"NICO!" he yelled. "You're a son of Hades, you can't SAY that to people!"

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**Uh-oh, Nico...**

**This chapter was written by _LikeTheStars, filmyfurry _and _wolfienur._**

**Anyway, a long while ago, I (wolfienur) started doodling little Peetas on scraps of paper. The rest of the RDS really liked these doodles (God knows why) and told me I should post 'em on deviantArt. So I did. Doodles of Peeta and everyone else featured on the island. **

**Just remove the spaces: http :/wolfienur .deviantart. com/gallery /#/d 3je8yt**

**Comments would be loved! You have to have an account, but c'mon, it'd only take a couple minutes. ;)**


	16. Penelope

**Guys. Guys. GAIZ! We are so sorry - beyond sorry - for the monstrously late update. It's just..._filmyfurry_ is out of the country with no internet access, leaving just _wolfienur_ and _LikeTheStars_. And both our OIFB muses have walked out on us. Maybe you can tell. x_x Anyway, to those of you still with us..._thank you._**

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**16. Penelope**

"Wha-?" Nico was cut off by Jace, who was starting to go blue and making worrying choking noises. "Oh, oops. I take it back! Don't die, don't die, don't die!"

Jace dropped to his knees and sucked in lungfuls of air, clutching his throat. Everyone on the island had gathered to see what was going on - everyone except Peeta, who was still missing. When Jace finally looked up again, his eyes fixed on Nico, he looked livid.

Nico gulped. "This is, uh...where I split. See ya!" he exclaimed before sprinting away from Jace, who got up and ran after him, shouting all the obscenities in the English language, plus a few in Latin.

Meanwhile...

"Look Jez, I was going to help you but Jace is... Jace. You don't want to start a fight with an angry Shadowhunter... it gets... out of hand." Morgead said, trying to explain to Jez why he back out of the argument.

"I don't care! You were supposed to help!" Jez yelled, stomping away from Morgead. Again.

"Jez, come on, don't be mad." Morgead tried again as he followed her, this time he was met with silence.

"Okay, how about this, I'm going to tell you what has been going on right now."

Silence.

Morgead cleared this throat, "Okay, you leave me no choice, Jezebel "

More silence. Jez kept walking forward without even taking one glance at Morgead.

"No! This is not happening! Please, don't give me the silent treatment. Jez? Jezebel? Please talk to me!"

Jez whirled around to face Morgead. "Soulmates are supposed to be there for each other. _No matter what_. You totally left me alone with that tattooed freak!"

"To be fair, he's not a freak," Morgead found himself inexplicably defending the Shadowhunter. "He's just hungry. We all are. You can't win a fight with a starving, angry Shadowhunter. And I have the sand in my ear to prove it."

Still, Jez looked hurt. "I am so angry with you, Morgead Blackthorn," she said softly. "So angry that I just...want to smack your head with a stick..."

"But...?"

"But I've missed you so much."

Morgead grinned. "So kiss me."

"How can I kiss you when I want to kick your ass?"

Morgead shrugged. "Well, you can kiss me first then kick my ass or the other way around..."

Jez smacked his shoulders, "Morgead!"

"What?"

"Just…Shut up."

* * *

Peeta sighed. He was sitting in a little alcove he'd found when everyone was worried about Jace dying. His legs were drawn close to his body, his elbows on his knees. He felt guilt stirring in the pit of his stomach. He had always been taught to stick by your friends...but how could he when his friends weren't normal?

"And you think you're normal, Peeta Mellark?" A voice sounded behind Peeta. Shocked, Peeta turned around and found a girl with dark hair standing behind him, her arms crossed, her eyes staring intently at him.

"Who...who are you? You're...another girl."

"Really? I didn't notice," the girl said sarcastically.

"Who are you?" Peeta demanded, getting up. He'd never seen this girl before, but something about her demeanor seemed familiar.

"I'm...your fairy godmother, Peeta."

"Really?" Peeta's eyes widened.

"No!" She rolled her eyes. "I'm Penelope. Jace's imaginary friend."

Peeta stared blankly at her. Penelope stared blankly back at him.

Peeta stared at her staring at him.

Penelope stared at him staring at her staring at him.

Peeta stared at her staring at him staring at her staring at him.

And they continued staring blankly at each other until finally, Penelope's eye twitched.

"I WIN!" Peeta yelled exultantly. Penelope scowled.

"Shh! I thought you were in hiding?"

"Oh yeah," said Peeta, sagging against the wall once more. "I am."

Penelope sat down next to him. Her voice was soft when she said, "I heard you and Percy are taking a break."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Dude. I'm Jace's imaginary friend. I know everything he knows."

"Right."

"So? What's going on in that floury head of yours?"

"I don't know, we've just…we've grown apart."

Penelope face-palmed. She actually face-palmed. "It's been…what, four chapters since the Frenaissance? You can't grow apart in four chapters!"

"I know but – wait. Chapters? What do you mean, chapters?"

"You don't know?" Penelope asked, surprised.

"Know what?" Peeta said blankly.

Penelope stared at Peeta in disbelief. "The Truth. How you ended up on this island," she said slowly, enunciating each word.

"How?" Peeta demanded. "What are you talking about? Chapters? Tell me!" In the back of his head, he had a mental flashback of Ash mentioning something about some girls writing.

"Oh, Peeta. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Penelope said softly. "I shouldn't have said anything. But remember – apples are good."

"What?"

"They're better than bananas."

"Stop!" said Peeta, narrowing his eyes. "I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to distract me! But it won't work. I want to know all about these...chapters. Ash said something about…fiction?"

"Well, um…I…" Penelope seemed to be at a loss for words. Her head started buzzing uncomfortably, she began sweating imaginary sweat…

On the other side of the island, Jace Wayland stopped chasing Nico di Angelo and dropped to his knees once more. _Dammit!_ he thought. _Penelope, is that you? Are you _thinking_?_

_Sorry, Jace,_ Penelope replied. _But he's asking me too many questions! He's not ready for the answers…no one on this island is ready for the answers…_

_Well, distract him!_

_How?_

_I don't care, just do something now! Take his mind off it. I've got a son of Hades to murder._

Penelope started to hyperventilate. Peeta was staring bullets into her imaginary soul. He wasn't going to stop with that look until she answered him, or gave him something else to think about… So she said the only thing that came to her mind.

"Katniss."


End file.
